2011 is coming to a close....

Well, Christmas has come and gone and I can honestly say it was the best Christmas I have had in a long time.

I had big plans for the month of December, unfortunately, I ran out of time, energy, and money, but I did do several things that I had planned. On Friday night, the 23rd, after battling bronchitis for several days and working a strenuous 50 hours last week, I barely got off of work at 5:30, and made it over to the nursing home at 6:30 (which I never asked, but I think we may have been a little late). Thankfully, for Teresa's sake, she had lots of helpers and since I still had several errands to run, after spending a little time with some of the residents, we left and I made a few stops, took the boys home and went back out to finish Christmas shopping and grocery shopping for our normal 2 weeks worth of groceries. I didn't get home until after 12...but I was able to let 4 people cut in front of me, it didn't seem fair to make them wait when I had so much more then them.

After going to bed around 2, I got back up at 6:30 and Jeremy and I headed over to the church to pass out doughnuts and coffee. It didn't turn out as well as I thought it would when we signed up to go to the truck stop. Satan tried to bring me down, but in the end, we had a good time and we discussed ways to make it better next year. We were also able to take 12 dozen doughnuts with us when we left.....Alison, Wendy, and our families left at 10 to head over to the apartments. I love those kids with all of my heart, so I was so excited to be able to give them a small piece of love with the help of so many people (friends and people from the church). With donated toys, clothes, and money, we were able to give 11 families a box of food with enough food for a Christmas meal of ham, veggies, stuffing, potatoes, corn bread, and brownies, plus some food that was gathered for a food drive at Wendy's sister's preschool. We also got each kid - 29 of them, a bag of small gifts. Wendy presented the story about the birth of Jesus and did a edible snowman craft. Alison provided the story of his birth in spanish - a book for each family. They didn't come out as soon as we got there, so again Satan tried to work on my mind...but it didn't work, and the kiddos came, and we all had a wonderful time. They seemed to be really happy with everything, and I pray they were blessed and that they take to heart the good news that Wendy shared with them. We also had boxes of donated clothes, which they happily looked thruogh and found plenty to help them out! I was so blessed to be able to do this for them, with God behind me and with the help of friends and family.

I focused on families with children, but one man was out there and seemed to be waiting to see if we had anything for him. I felt terrible, so we gave him left over cookies and candy from the edible craft, but JC and I still felt bad, so we told him we would be back in a few hours. We took the boys home, had some lunch, and headed back at to brave the stores on Christmas Eve. We hit Aldis first and went back to deliver his box of food. JC was a little disappointed to see him and his friend smoking a blunt. I told him that God knew what was in our heart and this man would one day have to answer to God. JC got very emotional because that was him long ago. He has a heart to help people who struggle with drinking, drugs, pornograpy, and living in the ghetto. I orderd him the Man Up movie which just might help him. I also got him the Courageous book and he got me the Courageous books for women. From there, we went by the boys' friend's house to drop off the food and gifts we had got for them. Then we went to Lane Bryant, Walmart and finally made it back home.

Keydarius' mom called and said Keydarius had put some stuff together for us and they wanted to bring it by. His gifts were so thoughtful and heartfelt...he got me a picture frame with his picture when he was 4 or 5. He got JC a blanket, Jeremy a stuffed teddy bear with candy, Randall a 2-liter of Mountain Dew, and James a container of Cotton Candy. They were very thoughtful gifts and meant even more since I know they are short on money.

The boys each opened a gifts on Christmas Eve and Christmas morning, I believe everybody got what they were asking for. JC and the boys were very generous and got me several books, a mani/pedi gift certificate, and embellishments to use for scrapbooking/stampin up.

After opening gifts, I made breakfast while JC got ready for church. We made it to church a little bit early and I handed out MOST of the cards I had made, but not all. I still have quite a few left. JC made me lunch in bed and they allowed me to lay in bed reading and resting for several hours until I got up to cook dinner. It was a wonderful 2 days.

On Monday, we drove down to Lexington, SC to see Amy and her kids. I was nervous and I found out that she was nervous too, but we had a really good time and I really enjoyed catching up with her. I am amazed how strong they are and how much they love being down here after all that has happened since they have relocated.

I am thankful for the reason we celebrate - the birth of Jesus Christ and that he later died on the cross for my sins. I am thankful for friends and family that truly love and care for me, even with my faults. As 2011 is winding down, I want to take time to reflect on what has happened this past year and make plans for the new year...plans to learn to relax. Plans to spend more time with my family. Plans to read more, plans to relax more, plans to craft more. PLANS TO BE IN MY BIBLE MORE! 2010 was the year of change, 2011 was the year of mourning, I pray 2012 will be the year of relaxing....

It's Christmas - How is that Possible?

This year has absolutely flown by. I can hardly believe it will be Christmas in just 3 days. We aren't traveling this weekend, but we did travel last weekend to go see my mom and sisters and niece and nephews. We had a really good time.

My mind has kind of gotten lost over the last couple of weeks. I am not sure where it went, but I would love to be able to find it again. I feel like I don't have any energy or "want to" anymore and I am getting way behind on everything. I was supposed to have the week off next week, but it doesn't look like that will happen now.

I am going to have next Monday off and will finally get to see my best friend from High School. She has moved down here to SC from PA. I am very excited for that. I am also very excited to go out to the apartments with the food and present boxes we have prepared. I love working at the apartments. I love the families. I love the kids. I love how the older kids watch the little kids. My heart is in a little run down neighborhood in Concord......BUT....

I have honestly been considering moving back home to VA. For the first time in the years we have been down here, I am very open to the idea. I think it would be awesome to be near some old friends....but JC doesn't want to leave our lease early....so I don't know what I will do when the time comes. For now, I am going to focus on getting through the rest of this year and then start thinking about where we are going from here.

I am so proud of all of my boys. They truly have a heart for Christ. I don't always recognize it, but they truly have good hearts and I don't tell them that enough. I am proud of them for always doing for other people...I wish they would do what we need done in the house without arguing...but I love that they will go Christmas caroling at nursing homes and then come home and write a post about it. I love that these residents in the homes touched their hearts enough to make them think and remember what the true reason for this season is. Without Christ there is no Christmas. I am so happy that they get it. We have a tree full of presents for them, I don't think that makes us bad parents. I don't judge anybody else for what they do....and I am really trying hard not to let others hurt me by how they judge us!

I pray that everybody has a holiday full of love, family, peace, joy, health, and happiness and that our Heavenly Father blesses you all incredibly as we celebrate the birth of our Lord, Jesus Christ.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!
Bobbie

It's Hard to believe...and even harder to handle

Well, after 2 years of dealing with the bank, praying for a loan modification, leaving our house vacant, becoming OK with foreclosure, deciding to sell as a short sale, and praying for it all to end....it has finally ended, and all I want to do is cry. WHY? I thought I had put it to rest when we left a year and a half ago. I thought I no longer had to worry about my feelings about the house, but alas, since I heard that it was completed, my heart hurts. My mind can't fathom that somebody else is now fixing up and getting ready to move into the house that we loved so much.

I know in the end, everything on earth will burn. I know that by that time I will be with our Lord and Savior, and the house will mean nothing to me...but for today, it hurts...it is hard to believe, and at times even harder to handle. Contrary to some people's beliefs, even though it may be a "good thing", it is cutting me right to the bone. I don't think it is good, I am sad...I am angry that the bank wouldn't work with us, but I count it all as lost and pray that the bitterness I am feeling soon goes away.

I have lost friends during this trial, but I have also gained new friends. I have lost a dream home, but we moved to a neighborhood where I feel we belong at this moment. I have lost hope in this world, but I have hope in Jesus Christ. I feel we had to lose everything to get closer to Him....that makes me happy....getting there has been hard.

So where do we go from here? I hope we stay, sometimes I think it will be easier to go. I don't want to uproot the boys and move them away from their school and their friends, but is it worth the hurt and sadness, the look of giving up in my husband's eyes? We could tuck our tail in between our legs and go back home, but what will that solve? My mind is a mess tonight...I don't know what I want....I believe as long as Jesus is my heart, any decision we make will be the right one, but I also feel that God brought us here for a reason....before we relocate, my boss said to let him know....could I live in Kentucky?? I dunno....I really don't.

It's hard to believe it is finally over, it's harder to believe I feel it is harder to handle...LOL

So this is it....

It's been a busy month..busy packing, busy planning, busy making phone calls to set up utilities, busy crying, busy trying to tell myself that this is a new start, busy lying (to myself), busy worrying, busy walking and trying to eat better, busy working, busy watching James and Randall finish 7th grade and Jeremy finish 1st, busy living life, busy trying to put all of my faith, hope, and heart into the God who loves me, the God who created me, and the God who sent his ONLY Son to die for me....see if He could give me, a sinner, salvation by using his Son...I definitely should be able to give up a house!

I'm trying....today I feel like I am failing. Today I am having a pity party...but tomorrow is another day and I pray that tomorrow brings a better mood.

Tomorrow will be the last day I work from my home office in THIS house. Tomorrow will be the last night I sleep in THIS house. Tomorrow will be the last day I Tomorrow will be the last time I cook a meal in THIS house. Tomorrow will be the last day of owning my own home. Tomorrow my feelings of failure will come alive and the devil will try to make me feel bad...today I will cry...tomorrow I won't let him get me down.

I am sitting here wondering what prompted me to write today of all days when I am feeling so down....the only think I can come up with, is how I coped in high school. I coped by writing...I wrote journals, poems, short stories....anything made me feel better...so today I guess I am trying to remember this feeling, record it, and make myself feel better.

Today I am weak,
Tomorrow I will be strong,
I will walk away from this house,
That I have lived for so long.
I will give it to God,
I won't let Satan win,
I will be a better person,
I won't let him make me sin.
I won't let Satan tell me I have failed,
I won't let anyone see my tears,
I will let God deal with my worries,
I will let God deal with my fears.

A sad weekend...just a part of our new life!

Well....I'm going to blame my mood this weekend on "my monthly friend". It is easier to blame my tears on that than to accept the fact that I have cried a few times over MATERIAL posessions. I didn't think it would bother me that bad, but it did. Watching them tear apart first the trampoline, and then the dog kennel, then Jeremy's play set, and finally carry off our pool lounge chairs and table...was hard. Our backyard sits almost like it was the day we moved in. It bothered me. It made me sad. All the while, I am telling everyone and myself that they are just material posessions. They didn't make this house a home...we make it a home, and we will make our new place a home too.

I am praying fervently now for the Lord to be with us over the next month. I will need His strength...only his strength will do!

Family Update

I have seriously thought about posting something several times over the past two months, but my emotions are going so wild, and I just never feel like doing it. I've been sad, depressed, happy, angry, nervous, scared, worried, but in the end, I shouldn't have gone through most of them. If I would have just sat it all on God's feet and kept living, I wouldn't have been so emotional. I know that he says to cast all our fears on Him, but it has taken me awhile. This experience is new to me.

What experience?? Well, we are about to walk away from the house we bought 4 years ago. We believed this house would be our home until the boys left for their own lives and we needed to downsize. There is alot about this house that we love. The backyard was always my "a little piece of Heaven here on earth". I loved listening to the birds, the lapping waters of our pool when it was on, sitting at our table rocking in one of the chairs that rocked with my eyes closed and just praising God for a beautiful day. We all loved the pool, JC probably the most, he doesn't like the heat at all and it was a place to chill out and chill off after a hard day at work. We tried to work with our mortgage company starting last August. JC had been out of work for 6 months and nothing promising looked to be coming up. We had gone through our savings, my bonus, our tax check, and the remainder of his money from selling his car and buying a pickup. It was all gone and we weren't sure how we were going to pay our bills. So we started the process. In September when we hadn't heard anything, we started looking for rental places, thinking they weren't going to be able to help us....then about a week before October started, we got the letters from both mortgage companies....The first put me on a trial period, where I paid a payment for 3 months. It was about $400 less than my original payment. The second cut my payment in half and it was legit right away, no trial payment needed (I think they saw the predictament they were in). So life went on, we stopped looking for rentals. We paid October, November, December payments on the trial...we heard nothing. We paid January and February and called....we still heard nothing. We paid March...I called again and escalated and told them I would make no more payments until we heard back from them with the papers. And I didn't. April 20th, I finally got through to somebody and he worked up the papers. He came back and the told me the papers were in the mail and what my payment would be. It was $150 more than the trial payments....and only $225 LESS than my original payment. With both mortgages, we would still be paying $1950 a month for house we couldn't even use the pool anymore because we couldn't afford to run the pump if we paid the mortgage. I asked him why it was different and he said they couldn't offer me the same interest rate as back in October...REALLY?? Whose fault is that? MINE??? Because you dragged your feet for 7 months?? I asked him what I should do and he told me "don't sign the papers"...so I didn't. I stopped making the payment on the 2nd mortgage, even though they went out of their way to help me....so here we are. Yesterday, I just put a down payment on a rental house. It's quite a bit smaller than what we have here, but we will survive. We are packing and getting rid of stuff that we don't love. We are selling everything that we put into this house...OUR HOUSE...because it isn't ours anymore. JC is very depressed. He feels this is his fault. I don't blame him. I think it is both of our faults for mismanaging money...but we have to move on. As I pack up, I seem to get more sad...but I don't want JC to know. I worry about him so I don't want to make him feel any worse. We will be fine as long as we are together. A house doesn't make the home, family makes the home.

We will be moving July 1st, after much thought, prayers, and searching all over, we decided to stay here in NC. Mainly because of the boys' braces but also because we have this great church family and I just can't imagine finding anything better than this family!

2010 has been the year of changes. I don't do well with changes. I'm trying to adjust. I've lost many dear friends and coworkers to layoffs. I've lost my house. I've lost a little bit of my heart....but I haven't lost Jesus. He is with me, and I know if I were to see only one set of footsteps, it isn't because He left me, but because He was carrying me through the tough parts.

WE WILL BE OKAY!

Spring Break 2010

We have been traveling for the past week. We left here before noon last Saturday - April 3rd and just got home this evening. We drove ALOT! We got an oil change the Thursday before we left and we are in need of another one in about 500 miles. So 7 nights, 8 days, 2500 miles, 9 states, we are finally home.


This picture makes me think about how big God truly is.

It was a long trip, mostly paid for by my job...but we still spent our fair share of money between gas, food, and souvenirs. The boys and JC got on each others nerves a little bit while they were stuck in the hotel between 7am and 12pm while I worked, but otherwise, we had a lot of fun.

On Saturday night we got in late, ordered pizza, and I took the boys down to the pool for a little bit. Sunday, we got up, ate breakfast and got on the road. We started out by going to Indianapolis, IN to the Indianapolis Speedway.



But after standing in line for a grounds tour for over an hour and not really getting anywhere, as a family we discussed our options...because had we continued to wait, we wouldn't make it to Nashville, TN to see Jeremy preach at his church's Easter Service. I was just frustrated enough to say we would forget about going there, when Randall got visibly upset and said that we had promised we would go. JC and I both conceded so we got out of line without ever even going into the museum, stopped for lunch and got on the road to Nashville. I didn't think about getting any pictures while I was there, but what I took away from there is far more priceless. Jeremy Rose at the Axis Church in Nashville, used to be the youth pastor at my church here in NC. He left about a year ago to plant a church in Nashville and this was his first Easter he ever preached. I am so glad we made it to see his sermon. I am glad because he taught me a lot. I have believed in my Lord Jesus my entire life, but I haven't always lived like I have. But the things he preached about were new to me and made such sense to my head and to my heart. I am glad we made it! (and thankful for the time difference between timezones).

We got home after midnight on Sunday, and Monday through Friday, I worked from 7am until 12 noon each day. After I got off, I would go pick up JC and the boys, and we would make our way to other places. Monday we hung out in Louisville, KY (I tried to teach JC to say Lou-uh-vul like I have heard so many people say, but he refused...until he started talking to somebody and it slipped out...SCORE! LOL. But anyway...we went to the Louisville Slugger Museum and the Glass Works Museum. Both were very interesting, but I had another moment while watching three men in the shop blowing glass.



Because it wasn't just about how it was being done...because that was amazing...but it was the story behind WHAT they were making. See the older guy came out of the room..I like to call it the sweat shop because it was well over 120 degrees in there. But the older man came out and started talking to JC and told him what they were making. The two younger boys were his sons. One is a doctor. The other a glass blower who has worked and learned under many people all over the country. But they worked together on this particular day to make an urn for their sister, this man's 28-year old daughter who died a week before from complications of Diabetes. This was their 2nd try because the first one didn't form correctly....and it was a hard, hot, amazing job being done by both of the boys and at one time (before the man came to talk to us)the glass blower son had his dad take a turn at blowing the glass...so they all had a small piece to do with making it....and so when they accomplished this and hugged...I cried...and I don't have a picture of the boys hugging because I cried and it took me a minute to realize what a special moment it was for them...and I don't need my camera to remember that moment because it is engraved on my heart. I did get a picture of the doctor son and the father hugging while the glass blower stood there looking very pleased. I didn't want to leave. It. Was. Amazing.



After we left there, we went to walk down by the Ohio River, then went back to car, crossed the Ohio River into Indiana and ate dinner at a restaurant that overlooked the river. We then went home and watched 24 and went to bed.

On Tuesday, we drove to Cincinnati, OH to a park that was closed (except on Friday, Saturday, and Sunday) but they still had some animals and the boys played on the playground for a little bit.



On Wednesday, we stayed in Kentucky and went to Kart Kountry. The boys and JC loved this day the best. It was very expensive but the rides/lines moved alot smoother than any place we have ever been...and I tell you what...watch out for Jeremy if you are ever in a car near him. That boy was out of control....he was a good driver, but did a little more bumping and running than a momma likes :-)



On Thursday, we drove 4+ hours to St. Louis, MO to see the arch. Seeing it was all we could do because by the time we got there, the tickets had all been sold out for the last ride up. I was bummed...but it was still an amazing site to see. After we left, we drove into Illinois and ate dinner at a steak restaurant and got back to the hotel around midnight again.







On Friday, we went to the Louisville zoo. It was a literal zoo in the parking lot when we got there, but inside it wasn't too bad. I liked the layout of the zoo and seeing that we were able to get in free with out zoo pass from our zoo here, I thought it was great. I felt bad for some of the animals...to me they all looked so sad and there were some pretty sad stories to go along with the animals. The 2 bald eagles they have apparently were both shot and are each missing a wing. I also heard that the new baby gorilla has already had a very tough life...from what I hear (and just confirmed here - http://www.courier-journal.com/article/20100409/NEWS01/4090351/Injured+baby+gorilla+at+Louisville+Zoo+getting+better)she was injured during a skirmish by her father. It sounds like she lost part of her leg and suffered a fracture. How sad....and I wonder what made the father snap like that. They are separated now and I didn't see any sign of the baby at all. I saw 3 gorillas-the one looked so sad/miserable...take a look:



And today...we drove home. We left around 9:30 and got home around 7. All in all it was a good week...now back to the real world.

Where does the time go?

So it's been awhile since I have been here and so much has happened. It is weird how a period of time can feel like it has taken forever but also that it flew by.

On February 5th, I started traveling for my job. February 5th was my first flight and today was my last. 10 flights in five weeks - WOW! 24 nights away from my family. 24 days of eating out. Many many hours of Over time. It's been a long month....but it seemed to fly.

I have become a seasoned flier. Before February I had only been on 2 planes...one on the way to Chicago and the other back home from Chicago 10 YEARS AGO!! So 2 in 33years....10 in 5 weeks...I think I did good. Last week I was given the chance to have a window seat. I watched out the window the whole time. It was amazingly spectacular to be up in the sky and see endless clouds and miles and miles of open space. It was breathtaking and made me appreciate God's marvelousness (is that a word??).

Things are changing in my job, in my church, in my family...I don't do well with change, but I feel I am coping. We will see where things lead us in the next year. I want to simplify. I want to get rid of material things and live for God.

I finish school in 2 weeks and 2 days. After 5 long years I will finally have my degree. Like I said, changes are coming...I hope I can keep up!

Book Review: Time for Grace by Kate Welsh

I used to love to read all the time when I was younger. School, work, house, family, errands, and just life seem to get in the way...but lately, I have been reading a lot. This book, Time for Grace was very good and I finished it in about 3 hours this morning. I cried many times through the book because alot of the feelings in the book made me remember some old feelings from my childhood. I am going to write a LONG quote...almost a whole page below because it hit me in my face so hard, I had re-read it several times..this is a good short love inspired book and is a great read for those who love reading Christian romances.

"whatever your answer is, whatever theirs is, you have to let go of your portion of this. You need to pray for them. You have to forgive them before your anger moves to hate. Anger and hate are both destructive emotions. They drag us down and only serve to separate us God and His will for us. Forgive them and then move on with your life so you can be the good parent that the Father would have you be."

"What may help is for you to remember that ultimately God is your Father. Not the man who you feel forgot his duty to you. Embrace that thought. Your Father in Heaven wants all good for you the way a father should. He sent good people into your life all along when yours parents' decisions kept them out of it."

YES!

Book Review: For One More Day

Well, I just finisehd another book from Mitch Albom. It was good and I couldn't put it down. It is said to know that many of us, including me, don't treat people right during our lives..I don't know what I think or what I need to change...I am still processing the book.....it is ironic that I am reading this book today when I am having a personal issue in my life that hits close to this story. I will say this is a good read and would recommend it to friends and family. I am trying hard to process the information but for now, I am going to remind myself a few quotes from the book.

"Divorce comes from the word 'divertere' which means to divert....All divorce does is divert you, taking you away from everything you thought you knew and everything you thought you wanted and steering you into all kinds of other stuff..."

"You have to work at marriage together and you have to love three things. You need to love each other, your children, your marriage. What I meant by that last one is, there may be times that you fight, and sometimes you and her won't even like each other, but those are the times you have to love your marriage. It's like a third party. Look at your wedding photos. Look at any memories you've made. And if you believe in those memories, they will pull you back together." - letter from Chick's mom that was found in his personal belongings after he died.

"I also believe that parents, if they love you, will hold you up safely, above the swirling waters, and sometimes that means you'll never know what they endured, and you may treat them unkindly, in a way you otherwise wouldn't. But there's a story behind everything....Sometimes the stories are simple, and sometimes they are hard and heartbreaking. But behind all your stories is always your mother's story, because hers is where yours begins."

Book Review: Tuesdays with Morrie

WOW - this was a great book and I learned so much about life that I should have known, but didn't. That maybe I do know, but haven't practiced. I learned about humility, and soul searching, and making important things matter. I learned about life and I learned about dying with dignity. I learned about a man who gave his life to teaching, and used his dying as one final teaching moment. This was a great read and I would definitely recommend it to friends and family, especially those who are searching and trying to find something that makes them happy...because cars and homes and material possessions will never fulfill that emptiness. This fit right in with my pastor's message today....If we love God, we have to love others. So in my loving God, I automatically love others, and loving God and loving others will fill any emptiness that we feel.

Here are some quotes I took from the book that mean something to me and I thought I would put them here so even when I return the book to the library, I will have a place to come back and look at them:

"The culture we have does not make people feel good about themselves. And you have to be strong enough to say if the culture doesn't work, don't buy it."

"The most important thing in life is to learn how to give out love, and to let it come in." "...We think we don't deserve love, we think if we let it in we'll become too soft. But a wise man named Levine said it right. He said, 'Love is the only rational act'"

In response to the question, why do people always say they wish they were young again, he answered, "You know that reflects? Unsatisfied lives. Unfulfilled lives. Lives that haven't found meaning. Because if you've found meaning in your life, you don't want to go back. You want to go forward. You want to see more, do more."

"Devote yourself to loving others, devote yourself to your community around you, and devote yourself to creating something that gives you purpose and meaning."

"Do the kind of things that come from the heart. When you do, you won't be dissatisfied, you won't be envious, you won't be longing for somebody else's things. On the contrary, you'll be overwhelmed with what comes back."

"People are only mean when they are threatened, and that's what our culture does. That's what our economy does. Even people who have jobs in our economy are threatened, because they worry about losing them. And when you get threatened, you start looking out only for yourself. You start making money a god. It is all part of this culture."

"...The little things I can obey. But the big things--how we think, what we value--those you must choose yourself. You can't let anyone--or any society--determine those for you"

"It's not just other people we need to forgive, we also need to forgive ourselves...for all the things we should have done. You can't get stuck on the regrets of what should have happened."

"Death ends a life, not a relationship."

"As long as we can love each other, and remember the feeling of love we had, we can dies without ever really going away. Al the love you created is still there. All the memories are still there. You live on -- in the hearts of everyone you have touched and nurtured while you were here"

And with that I will end this post. I am heading to work in the nursery at church.

Five Question Friday 1/22/10

I have never participated in this before, so I thought I would give it a try!

1. What is better, growing old with out money or dying young and wealthy?
Well...I don't know for sure. My first thought was to say old without money....but that wouldn't be any fun. I would love to be old and have lots of love...so if I could have that option...I would do that....being without money wouldn't be a big deal if I had love...

2. Who takes out the garbage at your house? We all take turns...usually the hubby takes it to the road though.

3. Have you ever had the same dream many times? Unfortunately, I don't remember many of my dreams!

4. Can you play a musical instrument? Does the recorder count?? I can play Mary Had a Little Lamb on a piano...but that is it!

5. If you owned your own store, what would you sell? Crafts....sewing, scrapbooking, quilts, anything crafty!!

Scrapbook Thursday again

Well, it's been a week, and it isn't hard to see that I have failed to come post another blog since last week. But I didn't want to miss Christine's Blog Gallery, so here I am again. Her project this week was to work/show a baby album. Back before I started going to school again and before we moved, I used to spend a whole lot more time scrapbooking....This is James and Randall's FIRST YEAR only book. The book is absolutely huge...it is 66 pages front and back and is practically bursting at the seams...lol. I have picked a few of my favorite shots...take a look!! I really enjoyed looking back through this book. It is hard to believe they are 12 (going on 25). They were such joyful babies and we were so blessed to have had them!
The pictures are: The first page in the book that says "My Boys through the years", Twin A & B with the cards from the hospital and the hospital bands, "The Nursery", Nursery Rhyme Time...which was more nursery pictures and I hand-wrote some nursery rhymes, I know it is kind of corny...but I thought it was special back then, Some pictures from Sears (I think), "Fun with Grandpa", "Bath Time & Free Time", and their First Birthday...I just love the bottom border, it was completely hand made and took FOREVER, but I think it was totally worth it. ENJOY!!

Scrapbook Thursday

OKAY...so obviously it is Friday...but in my defense I was really feeling under the weather yesterday....feeling much better today and hoping I can still link to Christine's blog. Trying to remember to do this makes me excited to WANT to do more scrapbooking!

I am still working on the boys' cub scout books, but thought I would show a book that I completed last year. This is my childhood book and I am so glad I was able to get it done....here are a few shots from birth through high school. (In order from the bottom: My Baptism folder and envelope of first hair cut, pictures of me as a baby, Florida vacation when I was in 4th grade and we were still a family, Teeball pictures - softball was my life back then, High school softball picture of my sophomore year when I made the Varsity team...the starting line up was me and 8 seniors, I cried when they told me I was moving up but now I look back and can see what an honor that was, Awards page which held all of my softball stats and awards and report cards for High School, Prom pictures, and my senior pictures...I couldn't afford to actually buy pictures, so I just kept my proofs and used them:-)

Cub Scout Scrapbooks

I haven't scrapbooked in about 6 months...I have been working on Christmas presents and promised in the New Year I would focus on getting some stuff cleared out....well last weekend I got to it and started working on James and Randall's Cub Scout scrapbooks...keep in mind that they have been out of scouts since 2008..so to say I am SLIGHTLY behind would be an understatement. I don't normally write blogs about what I am working on, but since Christine is doing a Blog Gallery I thought it would be something neat to do (and I could use one of the pictures I took for my 365 project as well...so I am killing two birds with one stone....here are a few pictures of what I have been up to:

A Giveaway

I have alot to say...but little time today....so I will be back eventually...just wanted to post this so I can get a chance to win one of these...I never win anything...but I want to try...it looks AWESOME!

Jen at 11th Heaven's Homemaking Haven, 365 Days of TV-Free Toddler Time, and Mega-Family Blogs is giving away a flippin' waffle maker...

To enter, go HERE!!

Looking ahead for 2010

So it is now January of 2010, and I have been doing a bit of soul searching this past week. It is amazing what can get done when this computer isn't hooked to you. I have read 9 books this week while I have been off. I love to read, but always seem to put it on the back burner. I don't really do resolutions...but this year, I want to do some stuff that will make me a better person...mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually....so I thought I would make a list that I can look back at throughout the year and check up on myself to see how I am doing. I may add to this list later, but for now, this is what I am thinking...

1. Drinking more water
2. Eating less sweets
3. Making sure I brush my teeth TWICE a day and using lotion on my skin
4. Getting closer to God by reading His word
5. Writing more (poems, stories, journals)
6. Reading more
7. Graduate college
8. Spend less money on junk and more on reducing debt
9. Stop letting envy into my heart
10. Spend less time reading (and crying) over blogs
11. Spend more time writing on my blog
12. Post one picture every day on my Project 365 blog
13. Scrapbooking, scrapbooking, scrapbooking (I am focusing on this this year)
14. Learn how to deal with change
15. Work on hats, scarves, and quilts to sell
16. Make glass etchings EARLY as gifts for Christmas
17. Walk/exercise more
18. Do the 30-day shread at least twice
19. Work on the Wii Fit at least twice a week
20. Walk in a 31-mile walk in May
21. Volunteer to help people who are worse off than me
22. Devote time to reduce clutter
23. No longer using gas cards for snacks (will save money and weight)
24. Spend less time on the computer
25. Spend more time with my family
26. Find free/cheap activities for us to do as a family
27. Implement a family game night
28. Learn to say no when necessary for my sanity
29. Learn to pray out loud
30. BE FEARLESS in 2010, give it to the Lord more
31. More to come........

Like I said, these aren't really resolutions, but just some stuff I want to strive for this year. If I do them...GREAT...if not, no worries....I want to look back in a year and see an improvement in myself. I want to be happy with who I am. I want to love unconditionally and share the blessings that I have. I want to feel blessed and not depressed. I want to be who I am supposed to be, learn my potential and learn what God has in store for me.

Some Pictures over the last month or two

Tomorrow starts the Project 365...lets hope I stick with it longer than I did last year. I will definitely take 1 picture a day, but I can't promise to post one everyday...is that fair?? LOL as if I can answer myself!!

Anyway...here are a few pictures from Thanksgiving to now!

Christmas Eve and all through the house.........

Well, it is Christmas Eve. Hard to believe how fast it came around. I have been so focused on getting my quilts done, I still have 3 hats to make but I just can't seem to find the energy to WANT to do them. I feel like I am getting depressed and I am trying to stop that from happening. I know that there are soooooo many people out there in far worse situations than us and so for that reason, I try to just forget my problems. I am trying but I seem to be failing.

We have paid the mortgages on time for the past 3 months....but it has virtually left us with not but a few dollars in our pockets (which scares me because if one of us gets sick).....but on to something else. Looks like January's payment on the first mortgage is going to be late. I don't see any other way. I thought once the New Year started, we would be in a better position...that was until I found out that the Federal Government says Sallie Mae can't give me the full amount of money for the FINAL quarter of school. So I am stuck...paying $250 out of pocket for my text books, and making 3 payments of $150 to cover my classes, oh and the $120 fee to get my diploma....it all seems so unfair...but like I said I know other people have it worse.

I am blessed to have a job, a house, clothes (even though most have holes in them), shoes, food, a husband, 3 healthy kids, and even a dog and 2 cats. I want to get out of this funk I am in. I want to do something to make this world a better place. I think about that song alot...not sure what the title is, but it says, "How can I further your Kingdom, when I'm so wrapped up in mine?" WOW...that is exactly how I feel. I want to forget my problems exist and do something, but I don't know how. I keep thinking our best option would be to let the house go. It is dragging us down and I am starting to wonder why we continue to fight so hard to keep something that is only hurting us.

Oh....I don't know if it is good or bad news. JC feels like I am going places (without him). I don't know if he means physically or literally, but I feel bad for him for feeling that way. He has had a hard life and he can't get past it....anyway I digress...I just found out this past Monday, I will be expected to travel back and forth to Kentucky all of February and 1/2 of March to train....basically it means that I will be taking a TEAM LEAD position (I wonder if it will come with a raise??)since my team lead now is taking a manager position. I will be in charge of training....this thought is hard for me in a couple of ways. First I have only flew once...ONCE...and that was back before I decided on my own never to drink again...so I had a Strawberry Dauquiri before I got on the plane...so now I am going to be flying TWICE a week for 6 weeks...that is a little bit of a shock to this girl who never leaves home. Second, I am not an outgoing sort of person...so to be in charge of training (even though it is only 2 people) is scary to me. Third, I will be away from the boys and JC and I am not sure how that is going to go for me or for them. Fourth, IF JC finds a job between now and then, what will I do with the kids?? And if he doesn't find a job between now and then, we might as well start packing, because we have already agreed if he doesn't find a job by March, we have no choice but to let it go..........so maybe all of these thoughts are what is making me so melancholy. I don't know....but it's Christmas Eve and I say enough is enough.

Last night I read, played Battleship, and started a puzzle with Jeremy. It was fun. I also found this book at the Library called 365 Afterschool Activities for TV-Free Fun for Kids Ages 7-12 (thanks to the idea of MOM2MY9 who does a blog about TV-Free Fun for Toddlers). While I was finishing up my work yesterday so I can be off the rest of the year, Jeremy was lonely since his brothers were at a sleepover...so I got out the book and let him do Newspaper dancing. When I read it, I thought, heck no, that will make a mess...but quickly I said, who cares. I read him the instructions, helped him set up his square newspaper floor, and let him have it. He jumped, hopped, did the worm, wadded the paper up, threw the paper, shredded the paper and made confetti (BIG CONFETTI NOT THE SMALL KIND)and threw it over his head. WOW...he made me laugh, he laughed himself, and it kept him busy for about 10 minutes...when the fun was over, he even cleaned up himself with only 2 reminders from Mom. So yesterday, was okay....upsetting about school but made so much better by this little boy who just finds the absolute joy in everything he does.

So now where does that leave me...well I have the next 11 days off of work and no traveling to do. WOW..that never happens!! So, if it isn't too terribly cold, we are going to check out the SC zoo. We have never been, it is free since we have a yearly pass to all zoos, we will pack a lunch so it won't cost us anything but gas. We are going to implement a game night in 2010. My husband and I have resolved to stop using our gas cards as a way to get snacks and sodas..which I hope will help us lose weight AND save money. I am going to spend as much time as I can with my kids this week since they aren't in school and I'm not working and then on January 4th...I will start planning on how to tackle our debt...oh yeah it is time to get out there and start our 3-mile walk today. I have been doing good with the 3-mile walks on Tuesdays and Thursdays and I usually get one WEEKEND day in but it seems I have never gotten both days in...humm got to work on that...oh and if I end up in Kentucky..>I will need to change my schedule around, because if I am only going to see the boys for 2 days a week, I am NOT going to be spending a couple hours out walking without them.

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to us all! Remember - Jesus is the Reason for the Season!!

It's in the Valleys I Grow

Sometimes life seems hard to bear,
Full of sorrow, trouble and woe
It's then I have to remember
That it's in the valleys I grow.

If I always stayed on the mountain top
And never experienced pain,
I would never appreciate God's love
And would be living in vain.

I have so much to learn
And my growth is very slow,
Sometimes I need the mountain tops,
But it's in the valleys I grow.

I do not always understand
Why things happen as they do,
But I am very sure of one thing.
My Lord will see me through.


My little valleys are nothing
When I picture Christ on the cross
He went through the valley of death;
His victory was Satan's loss.

Forgive me Lord, for complaining
When I'm feeling so very low.
Just give me a gentle reminder
That it's in the valleys I grow.

Continue to strengthen me, Lord
And use my life each day
To share your love with others
And help them find their way.

Thank you for valleys, Lord
For this one thing I know
The mountain tops are glorious
But it's in the valleys I grow!



(This poem was written by Jane Eggleston who currently lives in Virginia. Her son Jeff states, "She is a wonderful person, loves Jesus and has been the best mother anyone could ever ask for." What a fitting tribute to any mother.)