2011 is coming to a close....

Well, Christmas has come and gone and I can honestly say it was the best Christmas I have had in a long time.

I had big plans for the month of December, unfortunately, I ran out of time, energy, and money, but I did do several things that I had planned. On Friday night, the 23rd, after battling bronchitis for several days and working a strenuous 50 hours last week, I barely got off of work at 5:30, and made it over to the nursing home at 6:30 (which I never asked, but I think we may have been a little late). Thankfully, for Teresa's sake, she had lots of helpers and since I still had several errands to run, after spending a little time with some of the residents, we left and I made a few stops, took the boys home and went back out to finish Christmas shopping and grocery shopping for our normal 2 weeks worth of groceries. I didn't get home until after 12...but I was able to let 4 people cut in front of me, it didn't seem fair to make them wait when I had so much more then them.

After going to bed around 2, I got back up at 6:30 and Jeremy and I headed over to the church to pass out doughnuts and coffee. It didn't turn out as well as I thought it would when we signed up to go to the truck stop. Satan tried to bring me down, but in the end, we had a good time and we discussed ways to make it better next year. We were also able to take 12 dozen doughnuts with us when we left.....Alison, Wendy, and our families left at 10 to head over to the apartments. I love those kids with all of my heart, so I was so excited to be able to give them a small piece of love with the help of so many people (friends and people from the church). With donated toys, clothes, and money, we were able to give 11 families a box of food with enough food for a Christmas meal of ham, veggies, stuffing, potatoes, corn bread, and brownies, plus some food that was gathered for a food drive at Wendy's sister's preschool. We also got each kid - 29 of them, a bag of small gifts. Wendy presented the story about the birth of Jesus and did a edible snowman craft. Alison provided the story of his birth in spanish - a book for each family. They didn't come out as soon as we got there, so again Satan tried to work on my mind...but it didn't work, and the kiddos came, and we all had a wonderful time. They seemed to be really happy with everything, and I pray they were blessed and that they take to heart the good news that Wendy shared with them. We also had boxes of donated clothes, which they happily looked thruogh and found plenty to help them out! I was so blessed to be able to do this for them, with God behind me and with the help of friends and family.

I focused on families with children, but one man was out there and seemed to be waiting to see if we had anything for him. I felt terrible, so we gave him left over cookies and candy from the edible craft, but JC and I still felt bad, so we told him we would be back in a few hours. We took the boys home, had some lunch, and headed back at to brave the stores on Christmas Eve. We hit Aldis first and went back to deliver his box of food. JC was a little disappointed to see him and his friend smoking a blunt. I told him that God knew what was in our heart and this man would one day have to answer to God. JC got very emotional because that was him long ago. He has a heart to help people who struggle with drinking, drugs, pornograpy, and living in the ghetto. I orderd him the Man Up movie which just might help him. I also got him the Courageous book and he got me the Courageous books for women. From there, we went by the boys' friend's house to drop off the food and gifts we had got for them. Then we went to Lane Bryant, Walmart and finally made it back home.

Keydarius' mom called and said Keydarius had put some stuff together for us and they wanted to bring it by. His gifts were so thoughtful and heartfelt...he got me a picture frame with his picture when he was 4 or 5. He got JC a blanket, Jeremy a stuffed teddy bear with candy, Randall a 2-liter of Mountain Dew, and James a container of Cotton Candy. They were very thoughtful gifts and meant even more since I know they are short on money.

The boys each opened a gifts on Christmas Eve and Christmas morning, I believe everybody got what they were asking for. JC and the boys were very generous and got me several books, a mani/pedi gift certificate, and embellishments to use for scrapbooking/stampin up.

After opening gifts, I made breakfast while JC got ready for church. We made it to church a little bit early and I handed out MOST of the cards I had made, but not all. I still have quite a few left. JC made me lunch in bed and they allowed me to lay in bed reading and resting for several hours until I got up to cook dinner. It was a wonderful 2 days.

On Monday, we drove down to Lexington, SC to see Amy and her kids. I was nervous and I found out that she was nervous too, but we had a really good time and I really enjoyed catching up with her. I am amazed how strong they are and how much they love being down here after all that has happened since they have relocated.

I am thankful for the reason we celebrate - the birth of Jesus Christ and that he later died on the cross for my sins. I am thankful for friends and family that truly love and care for me, even with my faults. As 2011 is winding down, I want to take time to reflect on what has happened this past year and make plans for the new year...plans to learn to relax. Plans to spend more time with my family. Plans to read more, plans to relax more, plans to craft more. PLANS TO BE IN MY BIBLE MORE! 2010 was the year of change, 2011 was the year of mourning, I pray 2012 will be the year of relaxing....

It's Christmas - How is that Possible?

This year has absolutely flown by. I can hardly believe it will be Christmas in just 3 days. We aren't traveling this weekend, but we did travel last weekend to go see my mom and sisters and niece and nephews. We had a really good time.

My mind has kind of gotten lost over the last couple of weeks. I am not sure where it went, but I would love to be able to find it again. I feel like I don't have any energy or "want to" anymore and I am getting way behind on everything. I was supposed to have the week off next week, but it doesn't look like that will happen now.

I am going to have next Monday off and will finally get to see my best friend from High School. She has moved down here to SC from PA. I am very excited for that. I am also very excited to go out to the apartments with the food and present boxes we have prepared. I love working at the apartments. I love the families. I love the kids. I love how the older kids watch the little kids. My heart is in a little run down neighborhood in Concord......BUT....

I have honestly been considering moving back home to VA. For the first time in the years we have been down here, I am very open to the idea. I think it would be awesome to be near some old friends....but JC doesn't want to leave our lease early....so I don't know what I will do when the time comes. For now, I am going to focus on getting through the rest of this year and then start thinking about where we are going from here.

I am so proud of all of my boys. They truly have a heart for Christ. I don't always recognize it, but they truly have good hearts and I don't tell them that enough. I am proud of them for always doing for other people...I wish they would do what we need done in the house without arguing...but I love that they will go Christmas caroling at nursing homes and then come home and write a post about it. I love that these residents in the homes touched their hearts enough to make them think and remember what the true reason for this season is. Without Christ there is no Christmas. I am so happy that they get it. We have a tree full of presents for them, I don't think that makes us bad parents. I don't judge anybody else for what they do....and I am really trying hard not to let others hurt me by how they judge us!

I pray that everybody has a holiday full of love, family, peace, joy, health, and happiness and that our Heavenly Father blesses you all incredibly as we celebrate the birth of our Lord, Jesus Christ.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!
Bobbie

It's Hard to believe...and even harder to handle

Well, after 2 years of dealing with the bank, praying for a loan modification, leaving our house vacant, becoming OK with foreclosure, deciding to sell as a short sale, and praying for it all to end....it has finally ended, and all I want to do is cry. WHY? I thought I had put it to rest when we left a year and a half ago. I thought I no longer had to worry about my feelings about the house, but alas, since I heard that it was completed, my heart hurts. My mind can't fathom that somebody else is now fixing up and getting ready to move into the house that we loved so much.

I know in the end, everything on earth will burn. I know that by that time I will be with our Lord and Savior, and the house will mean nothing to me...but for today, it hurts...it is hard to believe, and at times even harder to handle. Contrary to some people's beliefs, even though it may be a "good thing", it is cutting me right to the bone. I don't think it is good, I am sad...I am angry that the bank wouldn't work with us, but I count it all as lost and pray that the bitterness I am feeling soon goes away.

I have lost friends during this trial, but I have also gained new friends. I have lost a dream home, but we moved to a neighborhood where I feel we belong at this moment. I have lost hope in this world, but I have hope in Jesus Christ. I feel we had to lose everything to get closer to Him....that makes me happy....getting there has been hard.

So where do we go from here? I hope we stay, sometimes I think it will be easier to go. I don't want to uproot the boys and move them away from their school and their friends, but is it worth the hurt and sadness, the look of giving up in my husband's eyes? We could tuck our tail in between our legs and go back home, but what will that solve? My mind is a mess tonight...I don't know what I want....I believe as long as Jesus is my heart, any decision we make will be the right one, but I also feel that God brought us here for a reason....before we relocate, my boss said to let him know....could I live in Kentucky?? I dunno....I really don't.

It's hard to believe it is finally over, it's harder to believe I feel it is harder to handle...LOL