Waiting is so Hard

Losing Krissie last April was hard.  It was unexpected.  I knew she felt a little smaller, but had no idea that she had lost half of her body weight.  When we left for the quick trip to VA, I had no idea her temperature was so low or that she would go down hill so quickly.  I didn't know.  I thought nothing could be worse than that....but alas, here I am watching and waiting as Hemi is going down hill quickly...but I recognize the changes.  He has dropped over 6 pounds.  His hair is sticking up in ways it never did before.  I feel his spine, something that I haven't felt in many many years. He is hiding under my bed, hanging out in my room upstairs instead of wherever I am.

I made an appointment because of the weight loss but at the time of the appointment, I didn't notice much else.  Last Wednesday, his eye started leaking...I thought Skylar scratched.  On Saturday, I took him to the vet.  They took blood and urine, did a skin test for the place he is licking. They scanned his eye to make sure it wasn't a cut.  The tests were all negative and yet when I brought him home on Saturday, he hid in my room.  He has stopped eating and drinking.  I finally got him to eat a little bit of tuna fish, but nothing like he used to.  He has drank some.  He had more tests yesterday and got a B12 shot and finished the tuna fish.  His eye isn't leaking as bad, but I still haven't seen him have a bowel movement....I just look at him and my heart breaks.  He has been my buddy...my best friend...he has loved me unconditionally.  I want him to get better, but I am scared he will not.  I have cancelled going to the mountains this weekend, because I just couldn't bear it if he passed away and I wasn't here for him.....like with Krissie.  I don't want to desert him if it is the end for him.

Some people will understand....some won't.  Pets are things to some people and to others they are part of the family.  Hemi is my friend, my baby, my chunky monkey....

The tests being sent to Texas A&M may or may not be able to pin point what is wrong with him.  The next step would be an ultrasound, but I don't know if I can afford it or if it will even be worth it in the end.  At this point, there are two options...either it is inflammatory bowel or Lymphoma.  The first can be treated, the second cannot.  I love you Hemi....no matter what happens, that will never change.