When it Rains...It Pours

2017 has been a year of learning for me.  Learning to let go, learning to fight for my marriage and my kids, learning to pray more and lean on God, but mostly it has been a huge lesson on death.  I have never been good with goodbyes, and definitely never with death.  The first funeral I went to was when I was 12 and it was my great-grandmother.  It was rough watching my dad's cousin throw herself on the casket as they tried to lower it in the ground.  When I was 18, I went to a funeral of a friend of a friend.  I knew of Harvey, but wasn't close, but I went with Mandy, and cried more than anybody there. My grandparents have all died since then, but it never seems to get easier.  This year, we loss Krissie and then Snickers, but losing JC's brother, Rick, has probably been the most devastating for us.  He had just turned 49, 10 days before he passed.  He was told a couple of months ago that he had heart failure, but we assumed he could live a long time with it since his dad has lived with it for almost 10 years.  We thought he would be OK with medicine.  We begged him to quit working, to quit mowing, to slow down, but he was a proud man who just wanted to work and support his family.  He had a massive heart attack in his sleep.  He went to bed Friday night and never woke up. JC has been a rock for his family.  He holds it together mostly, but there are times when I look at him and see the sadness.  He mentioned that he would never be able to talk to him again, I think it was finally setting in.  He did a wonderful job of talking about Jesus in a prayer for the friends/family at the reception held at their church.

If anything good can come from a death, our families getting together to honor Rick, is truly something I don't think anybody ever thought could happen.  There was a lot of animosity because of the shooting that happened 5 years ago.  JC and I were very worried that something would happen or something would be said, but it didn't.  Through the grace of God, everybody was civil.  I just wish Rick was still here to witness it.  I wish he wasn't so stubborn that he wouldn't let Taz back into his life before he died.  I wish we would have made more time to go down there to see him with his parents before he died.  Rick was cremated as were his wishes.  His wife, kids, brother, mother, and sister, will all wear a piece of him.  Rick was loved.  I don't know if he knew how much when he was alive, but in his death the love of everybody was seen clearly. Rick had a hard life.  I only knew him through JC and Angela and the few times I met him.  He stayed at our house for a little while 5 years ago, he wasn't my brother in blood but through JC he was my brother.  We hope to see him one day again.  I hope he is finally at peace and he knows that we will help take care of his family as well as we can. Selfishly, I worry about JC and the boys.  He is almost 46. They are severely overweight and believe they are invincible.  I want them to be OK always, but I know ultimately, it is all in God's timing.

When we returned from Alabama with his parents, we got home to a very sick cat.  His mom's cat, Brady had been losing weight for a couple of weeks, but he could barely walk when we got home.  We took him to the vet and after doing some blood work, it was determined he was very sick.  We had to put him down, and his mom is devastated.  Her cats are like her kids.  It is a lot to take all in one week.  My heart aches for all of them, especially her.  I am still learning.  Death is hard, but I know there is so much work that still needs to be done before Jesus comes back to call us Home.  I want to be a light in this world, I have some work to do....in the meantime, here are a few pictures of Rick from 5 years ago and 2 of the cousins and Rick's siblings.  I am not sure we will get many more times together, I hope so, but at least we have these memories.