It's been a busy month..busy packing, busy planning, busy making phone calls to set up utilities, busy crying, busy trying to tell myself that this is a new start, busy lying (to myself), busy worrying, busy walking and trying to eat better, busy working, busy watching James and Randall finish 7th grade and Jeremy finish 1st, busy living life, busy trying to put all of my faith, hope, and heart into the God who loves me, the God who created me, and the God who sent his ONLY Son to die for me....see if He could give me, a sinner, salvation by using his Son...I definitely should be able to give up a house!
I'm trying....today I feel like I am failing. Today I am having a pity party...but tomorrow is another day and I pray that tomorrow brings a better mood.
Tomorrow will be the last day I work from my home office in THIS house. Tomorrow will be the last night I sleep in THIS house. Tomorrow will be the last day I Tomorrow will be the last time I cook a meal in THIS house. Tomorrow will be the last day of owning my own home. Tomorrow my feelings of failure will come alive and the devil will try to make me feel bad...today I will cry...tomorrow I won't let him get me down.
I am sitting here wondering what prompted me to write today of all days when I am feeling so down....the only think I can come up with, is how I coped in high school. I coped by writing...I wrote journals, poems, short stories....anything made me feel better...so today I guess I am trying to remember this feeling, record it, and make myself feel better.
Today I am weak,
Tomorrow I will be strong,
I will walk away from this house,
That I have lived for so long.
I will give it to God,
I won't let Satan win,
I will be a better person,
I won't let him make me sin.
I won't let Satan tell me I have failed,
I won't let anyone see my tears,
I will let God deal with my worries,
I will let God deal with my fears.
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