So it's been awhile since I have been here and so much has happened. It is weird how a period of time can feel like it has taken forever but also that it flew by.
On February 5th, I started traveling for my job. February 5th was my first flight and today was my last. 10 flights in five weeks - WOW! 24 nights away from my family. 24 days of eating out. Many many hours of Over time. It's been a long month....but it seemed to fly.
I have become a seasoned flier. Before February I had only been on 2 planes...one on the way to Chicago and the other back home from Chicago 10 YEARS AGO!! So 2 in 33years....10 in 5 weeks...I think I did good. Last week I was given the chance to have a window seat. I watched out the window the whole time. It was amazingly spectacular to be up in the sky and see endless clouds and miles and miles of open space. It was breathtaking and made me appreciate God's marvelousness (is that a word??).
Things are changing in my job, in my church, in my family...I don't do well with change, but I feel I am coping. We will see where things lead us in the next year. I want to simplify. I want to get rid of material things and live for God.
I finish school in 2 weeks and 2 days. After 5 long years I will finally have my degree. Like I said, changes are coming...I hope I can keep up!
Friday, March 12, 2010
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Book Review: Time for Grace by Kate Welsh
I used to love to read all the time when I was younger. School, work, house, family, errands, and just life seem to get in the way...but lately, I have been reading a lot. This book, Time for Grace was very good and I finished it in about 3 hours this morning. I cried many times through the book because alot of the feelings in the book made me remember some old feelings from my childhood. I am going to write a LONG quote...almost a whole page below because it hit me in my face so hard, I had re-read it several times..this is a good short love inspired book and is a great read for those who love reading Christian romances.
"whatever your answer is, whatever theirs is, you have to let go of your portion of this. You need to pray for them. You have to forgive them before your anger moves to hate. Anger and hate are both destructive emotions. They drag us down and only serve to separate us God and His will for us. Forgive them and then move on with your life so you can be the good parent that the Father would have you be."
"What may help is for you to remember that ultimately God is your Father. Not the man who you feel forgot his duty to you. Embrace that thought. Your Father in Heaven wants all good for you the way a father should. He sent good people into your life all along when yours parents' decisions kept them out of it."
YES!
"whatever your answer is, whatever theirs is, you have to let go of your portion of this. You need to pray for them. You have to forgive them before your anger moves to hate. Anger and hate are both destructive emotions. They drag us down and only serve to separate us God and His will for us. Forgive them and then move on with your life so you can be the good parent that the Father would have you be."
"What may help is for you to remember that ultimately God is your Father. Not the man who you feel forgot his duty to you. Embrace that thought. Your Father in Heaven wants all good for you the way a father should. He sent good people into your life all along when yours parents' decisions kept them out of it."
YES!
Monday, January 25, 2010
Book Review: For One More Day
Well, I just finisehd another book from Mitch Albom. It was good and I couldn't put it down. It is said to know that many of us, including me, don't treat people right during our lives..I don't know what I think or what I need to change...I am still processing the book.....it is ironic that I am reading this book today when I am having a personal issue in my life that hits close to this story. I will say this is a good read and would recommend it to friends and family. I am trying hard to process the information but for now, I am going to remind myself a few quotes from the book.
"Divorce comes from the word 'divertere' which means to divert....All divorce does is divert you, taking you away from everything you thought you knew and everything you thought you wanted and steering you into all kinds of other stuff..."
"You have to work at marriage together and you have to love three things. You need to love each other, your children, your marriage. What I meant by that last one is, there may be times that you fight, and sometimes you and her won't even like each other, but those are the times you have to love your marriage. It's like a third party. Look at your wedding photos. Look at any memories you've made. And if you believe in those memories, they will pull you back together." - letter from Chick's mom that was found in his personal belongings after he died.
"I also believe that parents, if they love you, will hold you up safely, above the swirling waters, and sometimes that means you'll never know what they endured, and you may treat them unkindly, in a way you otherwise wouldn't. But there's a story behind everything....Sometimes the stories are simple, and sometimes they are hard and heartbreaking. But behind all your stories is always your mother's story, because hers is where yours begins."
"Divorce comes from the word 'divertere' which means to divert....All divorce does is divert you, taking you away from everything you thought you knew and everything you thought you wanted and steering you into all kinds of other stuff..."
"You have to work at marriage together and you have to love three things. You need to love each other, your children, your marriage. What I meant by that last one is, there may be times that you fight, and sometimes you and her won't even like each other, but those are the times you have to love your marriage. It's like a third party. Look at your wedding photos. Look at any memories you've made. And if you believe in those memories, they will pull you back together." - letter from Chick's mom that was found in his personal belongings after he died.
"I also believe that parents, if they love you, will hold you up safely, above the swirling waters, and sometimes that means you'll never know what they endured, and you may treat them unkindly, in a way you otherwise wouldn't. But there's a story behind everything....Sometimes the stories are simple, and sometimes they are hard and heartbreaking. But behind all your stories is always your mother's story, because hers is where yours begins."
Sunday, January 24, 2010
Book Review: Tuesdays with Morrie
WOW - this was a great book and I learned so much about life that I should have known, but didn't. That maybe I do know, but haven't practiced. I learned about humility, and soul searching, and making important things matter. I learned about life and I learned about dying with dignity. I learned about a man who gave his life to teaching, and used his dying as one final teaching moment. This was a great read and I would definitely recommend it to friends and family, especially those who are searching and trying to find something that makes them happy...because cars and homes and material possessions will never fulfill that emptiness. This fit right in with my pastor's message today....If we love God, we have to love others. So in my loving God, I automatically love others, and loving God and loving others will fill any emptiness that we feel.
Here are some quotes I took from the book that mean something to me and I thought I would put them here so even when I return the book to the library, I will have a place to come back and look at them:
"The culture we have does not make people feel good about themselves. And you have to be strong enough to say if the culture doesn't work, don't buy it."
"The most important thing in life is to learn how to give out love, and to let it come in." "...We think we don't deserve love, we think if we let it in we'll become too soft. But a wise man named Levine said it right. He said, 'Love is the only rational act'"
In response to the question, why do people always say they wish they were young again, he answered, "You know that reflects? Unsatisfied lives. Unfulfilled lives. Lives that haven't found meaning. Because if you've found meaning in your life, you don't want to go back. You want to go forward. You want to see more, do more."
"Devote yourself to loving others, devote yourself to your community around you, and devote yourself to creating something that gives you purpose and meaning."
"Do the kind of things that come from the heart. When you do, you won't be dissatisfied, you won't be envious, you won't be longing for somebody else's things. On the contrary, you'll be overwhelmed with what comes back."
"People are only mean when they are threatened, and that's what our culture does. That's what our economy does. Even people who have jobs in our economy are threatened, because they worry about losing them. And when you get threatened, you start looking out only for yourself. You start making money a god. It is all part of this culture."
"...The little things I can obey. But the big things--how we think, what we value--those you must choose yourself. You can't let anyone--or any society--determine those for you"
"It's not just other people we need to forgive, we also need to forgive ourselves...for all the things we should have done. You can't get stuck on the regrets of what should have happened."
"Death ends a life, not a relationship."
"As long as we can love each other, and remember the feeling of love we had, we can dies without ever really going away. Al the love you created is still there. All the memories are still there. You live on -- in the hearts of everyone you have touched and nurtured while you were here"
And with that I will end this post. I am heading to work in the nursery at church.
Here are some quotes I took from the book that mean something to me and I thought I would put them here so even when I return the book to the library, I will have a place to come back and look at them:
"The culture we have does not make people feel good about themselves. And you have to be strong enough to say if the culture doesn't work, don't buy it."
"The most important thing in life is to learn how to give out love, and to let it come in." "...We think we don't deserve love, we think if we let it in we'll become too soft. But a wise man named Levine said it right. He said, 'Love is the only rational act'"
In response to the question, why do people always say they wish they were young again, he answered, "You know that reflects? Unsatisfied lives. Unfulfilled lives. Lives that haven't found meaning. Because if you've found meaning in your life, you don't want to go back. You want to go forward. You want to see more, do more."
"Devote yourself to loving others, devote yourself to your community around you, and devote yourself to creating something that gives you purpose and meaning."
"Do the kind of things that come from the heart. When you do, you won't be dissatisfied, you won't be envious, you won't be longing for somebody else's things. On the contrary, you'll be overwhelmed with what comes back."
"People are only mean when they are threatened, and that's what our culture does. That's what our economy does. Even people who have jobs in our economy are threatened, because they worry about losing them. And when you get threatened, you start looking out only for yourself. You start making money a god. It is all part of this culture."
"...The little things I can obey. But the big things--how we think, what we value--those you must choose yourself. You can't let anyone--or any society--determine those for you"
"It's not just other people we need to forgive, we also need to forgive ourselves...for all the things we should have done. You can't get stuck on the regrets of what should have happened."
"Death ends a life, not a relationship."
"As long as we can love each other, and remember the feeling of love we had, we can dies without ever really going away. Al the love you created is still there. All the memories are still there. You live on -- in the hearts of everyone you have touched and nurtured while you were here"
And with that I will end this post. I am heading to work in the nursery at church.
Friday, January 22, 2010
Five Question Friday 1/22/10
I have never participated in this before, so I thought I would give it a try!
1. What is better, growing old with out money or dying young and wealthy?
Well...I don't know for sure. My first thought was to say old without money....but that wouldn't be any fun. I would love to be old and have lots of love...so if I could have that option...I would do that....being without money wouldn't be a big deal if I had love...
2. Who takes out the garbage at your house? We all take turns...usually the hubby takes it to the road though.
3. Have you ever had the same dream many times? Unfortunately, I don't remember many of my dreams!
4. Can you play a musical instrument? Does the recorder count?? I can play Mary Had a Little Lamb on a piano...but that is it!
5. If you owned your own store, what would you sell? Crafts....sewing, scrapbooking, quilts, anything crafty!!
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Scrapbook Thursday again
Well, it's been a week, and it isn't hard to see that I have failed to come post another blog since last week. But I didn't want to miss Christine's Blog Gallery, so here I am again. Her project this week was to work/show a baby album. Back before I started going to school again and before we moved, I used to spend a whole lot more time scrapbooking....This is James and Randall's FIRST YEAR only book. The book is absolutely huge...it is 66 pages front and back and is practically bursting at the seams...lol. I have picked a few of my favorite shots...take a look!! I really enjoyed looking back through this book. It is hard to believe they are 12 (going on 25). They were such joyful babies and we were so blessed to have had them!
The pictures are: The first page in the book that says "My Boys through the years", Twin A & B with the cards from the hospital and the hospital bands, "The Nursery", Nursery Rhyme Time...which was more nursery pictures and I hand-wrote some nursery rhymes, I know it is kind of corny...but I thought it was special back then, Some pictures from Sears (I think), "Fun with Grandpa", "Bath Time & Free Time", and their First Birthday...I just love the bottom border, it was completely hand made and took FOREVER, but I think it was totally worth it. ENJOY!!
The pictures are: The first page in the book that says "My Boys through the years", Twin A & B with the cards from the hospital and the hospital bands, "The Nursery", Nursery Rhyme Time...which was more nursery pictures and I hand-wrote some nursery rhymes, I know it is kind of corny...but I thought it was special back then, Some pictures from Sears (I think), "Fun with Grandpa", "Bath Time & Free Time", and their First Birthday...I just love the bottom border, it was completely hand made and took FOREVER, but I think it was totally worth it. ENJOY!!
Thursday, January 14, 2010
Scrapbook Thursday
OKAY...so obviously it is Friday...but in my defense I was really feeling under the weather yesterday....feeling much better today and hoping I can still link to Christine's blog. Trying to remember to do this makes me excited to WANT to do more scrapbooking!
I am still working on the boys' cub scout books, but thought I would show a book that I completed last year. This is my childhood book and I am so glad I was able to get it done....here are a few shots from birth through high school. (In order from the bottom: My Baptism folder and envelope of first hair cut, pictures of me as a baby, Florida vacation when I was in 4th grade and we were still a family, Teeball pictures - softball was my life back then, High school softball picture of my sophomore year when I made the Varsity team...the starting line up was me and 8 seniors, I cried when they told me I was moving up but now I look back and can see what an honor that was, Awards page which held all of my softball stats and awards and report cards for High School, Prom pictures, and my senior pictures...I couldn't afford to actually buy pictures, so I just kept my proofs and used them:-)
I am still working on the boys' cub scout books, but thought I would show a book that I completed last year. This is my childhood book and I am so glad I was able to get it done....here are a few shots from birth through high school. (In order from the bottom: My Baptism folder and envelope of first hair cut, pictures of me as a baby, Florida vacation when I was in 4th grade and we were still a family, Teeball pictures - softball was my life back then, High school softball picture of my sophomore year when I made the Varsity team...the starting line up was me and 8 seniors, I cried when they told me I was moving up but now I look back and can see what an honor that was, Awards page which held all of my softball stats and awards and report cards for High School, Prom pictures, and my senior pictures...I couldn't afford to actually buy pictures, so I just kept my proofs and used them:-)
Thursday, January 07, 2010
Cub Scout Scrapbooks
I haven't scrapbooked in about 6 months...I have been working on Christmas presents and promised in the New Year I would focus on getting some stuff cleared out....well last weekend I got to it and started working on James and Randall's Cub Scout scrapbooks...keep in mind that they have been out of scouts since 2008..so to say I am SLIGHTLY behind would be an understatement. I don't normally write blogs about what I am working on, but since Christine is doing a Blog Gallery I thought it would be something neat to do (and I could use one of the pictures I took for my 365 project as well...so I am killing two birds with one stone....here are a few pictures of what I have been up to:
A Giveaway
I have alot to say...but little time today....so I will be back eventually...just wanted to post this so I can get a chance to win one of these...I never win anything...but I want to try...it looks AWESOME!
Jen at 11th Heaven's Homemaking Haven, 365 Days of TV-Free Toddler Time, and Mega-Family Blogs is giving away a flippin' waffle maker...
To enter, go HERE!!
Jen at 11th Heaven's Homemaking Haven, 365 Days of TV-Free Toddler Time, and Mega-Family Blogs is giving away a flippin' waffle maker...
Saturday, January 02, 2010
Looking ahead for 2010
So it is now January of 2010, and I have been doing a bit of soul searching this past week. It is amazing what can get done when this computer isn't hooked to you. I have read 9 books this week while I have been off. I love to read, but always seem to put it on the back burner. I don't really do resolutions...but this year, I want to do some stuff that will make me a better person...mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually....so I thought I would make a list that I can look back at throughout the year and check up on myself to see how I am doing. I may add to this list later, but for now, this is what I am thinking...
1. Drinking more water
2. Eating less sweets
3. Making sure I brush my teeth TWICE a day and using lotion on my skin
4. Getting closer to God by reading His word
5. Writing more (poems, stories, journals)
6. Reading more
7. Graduate college
8. Spend less money on junk and more on reducing debt
9. Stop letting envy into my heart
10. Spend less time reading (and crying) over blogs
11. Spend more time writing on my blog
12. Post one picture every day on my Project 365 blog
13. Scrapbooking, scrapbooking, scrapbooking (I am focusing on this this year)
14. Learn how to deal with change
15. Work on hats, scarves, and quilts to sell
16. Make glass etchings EARLY as gifts for Christmas
17. Walk/exercise more
18. Do the 30-day shread at least twice
19. Work on the Wii Fit at least twice a week
20. Walk in a 31-mile walk in May
21. Volunteer to help people who are worse off than me
22. Devote time to reduce clutter
23. No longer using gas cards for snacks (will save money and weight)
24. Spend less time on the computer
25. Spend more time with my family
26. Find free/cheap activities for us to do as a family
27. Implement a family game night
28. Learn to say no when necessary for my sanity
29. Learn to pray out loud
30. BE FEARLESS in 2010, give it to the Lord more
31. More to come........
Like I said, these aren't really resolutions, but just some stuff I want to strive for this year. If I do them...GREAT...if not, no worries....I want to look back in a year and see an improvement in myself. I want to be happy with who I am. I want to love unconditionally and share the blessings that I have. I want to feel blessed and not depressed. I want to be who I am supposed to be, learn my potential and learn what God has in store for me.
1. Drinking more water
2. Eating less sweets
3. Making sure I brush my teeth TWICE a day and using lotion on my skin
4. Getting closer to God by reading His word
5. Writing more (poems, stories, journals)
6. Reading more
7. Graduate college
8. Spend less money on junk and more on reducing debt
9. Stop letting envy into my heart
10. Spend less time reading (and crying) over blogs
11. Spend more time writing on my blog
12. Post one picture every day on my Project 365 blog
13. Scrapbooking, scrapbooking, scrapbooking (I am focusing on this this year)
14. Learn how to deal with change
15. Work on hats, scarves, and quilts to sell
16. Make glass etchings EARLY as gifts for Christmas
17. Walk/exercise more
18. Do the 30-day shread at least twice
19. Work on the Wii Fit at least twice a week
20. Walk in a 31-mile walk in May
21. Volunteer to help people who are worse off than me
22. Devote time to reduce clutter
23. No longer using gas cards for snacks (will save money and weight)
24. Spend less time on the computer
25. Spend more time with my family
26. Find free/cheap activities for us to do as a family
27. Implement a family game night
28. Learn to say no when necessary for my sanity
29. Learn to pray out loud
30. BE FEARLESS in 2010, give it to the Lord more
31. More to come........
Like I said, these aren't really resolutions, but just some stuff I want to strive for this year. If I do them...GREAT...if not, no worries....I want to look back in a year and see an improvement in myself. I want to be happy with who I am. I want to love unconditionally and share the blessings that I have. I want to feel blessed and not depressed. I want to be who I am supposed to be, learn my potential and learn what God has in store for me.
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Some Pictures over the last month or two
Tomorrow starts the Project 365...lets hope I stick with it longer than I did last year. I will definitely take 1 picture a day, but I can't promise to post one everyday...is that fair?? LOL as if I can answer myself!!
Anyway...here are a few pictures from Thanksgiving to now!
Thursday, December 24, 2009
Christmas Eve and all through the house.........
Well, it is Christmas Eve. Hard to believe how fast it came around. I have been so focused on getting my quilts done, I still have 3 hats to make but I just can't seem to find the energy to WANT to do them. I feel like I am getting depressed and I am trying to stop that from happening. I know that there are soooooo many people out there in far worse situations than us and so for that reason, I try to just forget my problems. I am trying but I seem to be failing.
We have paid the mortgages on time for the past 3 months....but it has virtually left us with not but a few dollars in our pockets (which scares me because if one of us gets sick).....but on to something else. Looks like January's payment on the first mortgage is going to be late. I don't see any other way. I thought once the New Year started, we would be in a better position...that was until I found out that the Federal Government says Sallie Mae can't give me the full amount of money for the FINAL quarter of school. So I am stuck...paying $250 out of pocket for my text books, and making 3 payments of $150 to cover my classes, oh and the $120 fee to get my diploma....it all seems so unfair...but like I said I know other people have it worse.
I am blessed to have a job, a house, clothes (even though most have holes in them), shoes, food, a husband, 3 healthy kids, and even a dog and 2 cats. I want to get out of this funk I am in. I want to do something to make this world a better place. I think about that song alot...not sure what the title is, but it says, "How can I further your Kingdom, when I'm so wrapped up in mine?" WOW...that is exactly how I feel. I want to forget my problems exist and do something, but I don't know how. I keep thinking our best option would be to let the house go. It is dragging us down and I am starting to wonder why we continue to fight so hard to keep something that is only hurting us.
Oh....I don't know if it is good or bad news. JC feels like I am going places (without him). I don't know if he means physically or literally, but I feel bad for him for feeling that way. He has had a hard life and he can't get past it....anyway I digress...I just found out this past Monday, I will be expected to travel back and forth to Kentucky all of February and 1/2 of March to train....basically it means that I will be taking a TEAM LEAD position (I wonder if it will come with a raise??)since my team lead now is taking a manager position. I will be in charge of training....this thought is hard for me in a couple of ways. First I have only flew once...ONCE...and that was back before I decided on my own never to drink again...so I had a Strawberry Dauquiri before I got on the plane...so now I am going to be flying TWICE a week for 6 weeks...that is a little bit of a shock to this girl who never leaves home. Second, I am not an outgoing sort of person...so to be in charge of training (even though it is only 2 people) is scary to me. Third, I will be away from the boys and JC and I am not sure how that is going to go for me or for them. Fourth, IF JC finds a job between now and then, what will I do with the kids?? And if he doesn't find a job between now and then, we might as well start packing, because we have already agreed if he doesn't find a job by March, we have no choice but to let it go..........so maybe all of these thoughts are what is making me so melancholy. I don't know....but it's Christmas Eve and I say enough is enough.
Last night I read, played Battleship, and started a puzzle with Jeremy. It was fun. I also found this book at the Library called 365 Afterschool Activities for TV-Free Fun for Kids Ages 7-12 (thanks to the idea of MOM2MY9 who does a blog about TV-Free Fun for Toddlers). While I was finishing up my work yesterday so I can be off the rest of the year, Jeremy was lonely since his brothers were at a sleepover...so I got out the book and let him do Newspaper dancing. When I read it, I thought, heck no, that will make a mess...but quickly I said, who cares. I read him the instructions, helped him set up his square newspaper floor, and let him have it. He jumped, hopped, did the worm, wadded the paper up, threw the paper, shredded the paper and made confetti (BIG CONFETTI NOT THE SMALL KIND)and threw it over his head. WOW...he made me laugh, he laughed himself, and it kept him busy for about 10 minutes...when the fun was over, he even cleaned up himself with only 2 reminders from Mom. So yesterday, was okay....upsetting about school but made so much better by this little boy who just finds the absolute joy in everything he does.
So now where does that leave me...well I have the next 11 days off of work and no traveling to do. WOW..that never happens!! So, if it isn't too terribly cold, we are going to check out the SC zoo. We have never been, it is free since we have a yearly pass to all zoos, we will pack a lunch so it won't cost us anything but gas. We are going to implement a game night in 2010. My husband and I have resolved to stop using our gas cards as a way to get snacks and sodas..which I hope will help us lose weight AND save money. I am going to spend as much time as I can with my kids this week since they aren't in school and I'm not working and then on January 4th...I will start planning on how to tackle our debt...oh yeah it is time to get out there and start our 3-mile walk today. I have been doing good with the 3-mile walks on Tuesdays and Thursdays and I usually get one WEEKEND day in but it seems I have never gotten both days in...humm got to work on that...oh and if I end up in Kentucky..>I will need to change my schedule around, because if I am only going to see the boys for 2 days a week, I am NOT going to be spending a couple hours out walking without them.
Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to us all! Remember - Jesus is the Reason for the Season!!
We have paid the mortgages on time for the past 3 months....but it has virtually left us with not but a few dollars in our pockets (which scares me because if one of us gets sick).....but on to something else. Looks like January's payment on the first mortgage is going to be late. I don't see any other way. I thought once the New Year started, we would be in a better position...that was until I found out that the Federal Government says Sallie Mae can't give me the full amount of money for the FINAL quarter of school. So I am stuck...paying $250 out of pocket for my text books, and making 3 payments of $150 to cover my classes, oh and the $120 fee to get my diploma....it all seems so unfair...but like I said I know other people have it worse.
I am blessed to have a job, a house, clothes (even though most have holes in them), shoes, food, a husband, 3 healthy kids, and even a dog and 2 cats. I want to get out of this funk I am in. I want to do something to make this world a better place. I think about that song alot...not sure what the title is, but it says, "How can I further your Kingdom, when I'm so wrapped up in mine?" WOW...that is exactly how I feel. I want to forget my problems exist and do something, but I don't know how. I keep thinking our best option would be to let the house go. It is dragging us down and I am starting to wonder why we continue to fight so hard to keep something that is only hurting us.
Oh....I don't know if it is good or bad news. JC feels like I am going places (without him). I don't know if he means physically or literally, but I feel bad for him for feeling that way. He has had a hard life and he can't get past it....anyway I digress...I just found out this past Monday, I will be expected to travel back and forth to Kentucky all of February and 1/2 of March to train....basically it means that I will be taking a TEAM LEAD position (I wonder if it will come with a raise??)since my team lead now is taking a manager position. I will be in charge of training....this thought is hard for me in a couple of ways. First I have only flew once...ONCE...and that was back before I decided on my own never to drink again...so I had a Strawberry Dauquiri before I got on the plane...so now I am going to be flying TWICE a week for 6 weeks...that is a little bit of a shock to this girl who never leaves home. Second, I am not an outgoing sort of person...so to be in charge of training (even though it is only 2 people) is scary to me. Third, I will be away from the boys and JC and I am not sure how that is going to go for me or for them. Fourth, IF JC finds a job between now and then, what will I do with the kids?? And if he doesn't find a job between now and then, we might as well start packing, because we have already agreed if he doesn't find a job by March, we have no choice but to let it go..........so maybe all of these thoughts are what is making me so melancholy. I don't know....but it's Christmas Eve and I say enough is enough.
Last night I read, played Battleship, and started a puzzle with Jeremy. It was fun. I also found this book at the Library called 365 Afterschool Activities for TV-Free Fun for Kids Ages 7-12 (thanks to the idea of MOM2MY9 who does a blog about TV-Free Fun for Toddlers). While I was finishing up my work yesterday so I can be off the rest of the year, Jeremy was lonely since his brothers were at a sleepover...so I got out the book and let him do Newspaper dancing. When I read it, I thought, heck no, that will make a mess...but quickly I said, who cares. I read him the instructions, helped him set up his square newspaper floor, and let him have it. He jumped, hopped, did the worm, wadded the paper up, threw the paper, shredded the paper and made confetti (BIG CONFETTI NOT THE SMALL KIND)and threw it over his head. WOW...he made me laugh, he laughed himself, and it kept him busy for about 10 minutes...when the fun was over, he even cleaned up himself with only 2 reminders from Mom. So yesterday, was okay....upsetting about school but made so much better by this little boy who just finds the absolute joy in everything he does.
So now where does that leave me...well I have the next 11 days off of work and no traveling to do. WOW..that never happens!! So, if it isn't too terribly cold, we are going to check out the SC zoo. We have never been, it is free since we have a yearly pass to all zoos, we will pack a lunch so it won't cost us anything but gas. We are going to implement a game night in 2010. My husband and I have resolved to stop using our gas cards as a way to get snacks and sodas..which I hope will help us lose weight AND save money. I am going to spend as much time as I can with my kids this week since they aren't in school and I'm not working and then on January 4th...I will start planning on how to tackle our debt...oh yeah it is time to get out there and start our 3-mile walk today. I have been doing good with the 3-mile walks on Tuesdays and Thursdays and I usually get one WEEKEND day in but it seems I have never gotten both days in...humm got to work on that...oh and if I end up in Kentucky..>I will need to change my schedule around, because if I am only going to see the boys for 2 days a week, I am NOT going to be spending a couple hours out walking without them.
Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to us all! Remember - Jesus is the Reason for the Season!!
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
It's in the Valleys I Grow
Sometimes life seems hard to bear,
Full of sorrow, trouble and woe
It's then I have to remember
That it's in the valleys I grow.
If I always stayed on the mountain top
And never experienced pain,
I would never appreciate God's love
And would be living in vain.
I have so much to learn
And my growth is very slow,
Sometimes I need the mountain tops,
But it's in the valleys I grow.
I do not always understand
Why things happen as they do,
But I am very sure of one thing.
My Lord will see me through.
My little valleys are nothing
When I picture Christ on the cross
He went through the valley of death;
His victory was Satan's loss.
Forgive me Lord, for complaining
When I'm feeling so very low.
Just give me a gentle reminder
That it's in the valleys I grow.
Continue to strengthen me, Lord
And use my life each day
To share your love with others
And help them find their way.
Thank you for valleys, Lord
For this one thing I know
The mountain tops are glorious
But it's in the valleys I grow!
(This poem was written by Jane Eggleston who currently lives in Virginia. Her son Jeff states, "She is a wonderful person, loves Jesus and has been the best mother anyone could ever ask for." What a fitting tribute to any mother.)
Full of sorrow, trouble and woe
It's then I have to remember
That it's in the valleys I grow.
If I always stayed on the mountain top
And never experienced pain,
I would never appreciate God's love
And would be living in vain.
I have so much to learn
And my growth is very slow,
Sometimes I need the mountain tops,
But it's in the valleys I grow.
I do not always understand
Why things happen as they do,
But I am very sure of one thing.
My Lord will see me through.
My little valleys are nothing
When I picture Christ on the cross
He went through the valley of death;
His victory was Satan's loss.
Forgive me Lord, for complaining
When I'm feeling so very low.
Just give me a gentle reminder
That it's in the valleys I grow.
Continue to strengthen me, Lord
And use my life each day
To share your love with others
And help them find their way.
Thank you for valleys, Lord
For this one thing I know
The mountain tops are glorious
But it's in the valleys I grow!
(This poem was written by Jane Eggleston who currently lives in Virginia. Her son Jeff states, "She is a wonderful person, loves Jesus and has been the best mother anyone could ever ask for." What a fitting tribute to any mother.)
Saturday, December 12, 2009
Why do I care, why do I let it bother me?
Well first of all, it's been a few days or more....what's new - right?? It has been several days of very cold weather. We were at Lazy 5 Ranch yesterday with Jeremy's class and it was freezing but really fun! I will try to post a few pictures when I get a chance. One little girl that I just love (and was in his class last year too), fell off the back of the wagon and I just felt so bad for her. She was probably petrified, considering she was in the middle of a field with tons of animals. The wagon driver didn't hear and kept going, it took several shouts for him to finally stop. Mrs. Womack held her while she cried....I guess days like that make me think about my old desire to be a teacher....to be able to help kids learn and make them feel better. But then reality sits in, and I realize that although I love kids, I couldn't do it ALL DAY, EVERY DAY!
I have done good getting back on the wagon with walking this week (no pun intended, lol). So Far I have done 11 miles and am scheduled to do 6 more tomorrow. I just finished 5 this evening and my feet were SORRRRRE when I got back home. I can't wait until I can afford another pair of shoes. I will probably need 2 pairs between now and May.
I took the boys to the orthodontist yesterday. The guy is new here in NC, but has had a practice up in Boston for the past 11. Everybody was wonderful, the place is amazing and even has a game room and PSPs at each dental chair (the boys were THRILLED). I wasn't too thrilled with the price, but he is about the cheapest I have found, and is willing to TRY to work out some payment arrangements. I was hoping to pay off our Lowes bill with my first tuition reimbursement check, but it looks like I will be giving him a down payment so we can get started. The boys teeth are a bit more jacked up then I thought. SIGH.
Wondering about my Title of this blog yet??? LOL....it was the first thing that came to my mind, but before I expanded I wanted to give myself an account for the last couple days of my life. I have to do stuff when I think about it, or its gone from memory. My mom calls it SOMETIMERS....sounds about right!
I have a pretty BAD knack of letting EARTHLY things get to me. I know I need to lay it all at the feet of the cross and stop worrying about it, but it seems my mind doesn't udnerstand that too well. I experience greed, jealously, anger, and I say to myself DON'T and I can't stop. I feel like I am missing out on THINGS, and wonder WHY? Why don't they invite me? Why am I not part of their "thing". And then I wonder WHY? Why do I care? We are only here for a small moment and eternity will be everything I WANT and NEED down here and don't get. So why do those feelings of inadequacy and envy keep coming? Why do I care? Why do I let it bother me?
Finally, I just want to say how heart-broken I am for Hannah Grace's family. I have been following her mom's blogs for a month or more and was checking several times a day for updates. It amazes me how her mom seems to be offering us her heart and soul and even in her darkest days seems to be trying to comfort us, when we should be comforting her. I want my walk with Christ to be that strong. I want to know that even in my darkest hour I will still call out Jesus' name and fall on my knees and know that everything will be okay. Thank you for showing us God's grace during the most difficult time and thank you for showing us your faith..I can't wait to meet Hannah face to face one day when my life ends and my eternity begins!
Okay...I have to go and get my quilts done and my paper done that is due tomorrow...uggh!!
I have done good getting back on the wagon with walking this week (no pun intended, lol). So Far I have done 11 miles and am scheduled to do 6 more tomorrow. I just finished 5 this evening and my feet were SORRRRRE when I got back home. I can't wait until I can afford another pair of shoes. I will probably need 2 pairs between now and May.
I took the boys to the orthodontist yesterday. The guy is new here in NC, but has had a practice up in Boston for the past 11. Everybody was wonderful, the place is amazing and even has a game room and PSPs at each dental chair (the boys were THRILLED). I wasn't too thrilled with the price, but he is about the cheapest I have found, and is willing to TRY to work out some payment arrangements. I was hoping to pay off our Lowes bill with my first tuition reimbursement check, but it looks like I will be giving him a down payment so we can get started. The boys teeth are a bit more jacked up then I thought. SIGH.
Wondering about my Title of this blog yet??? LOL....it was the first thing that came to my mind, but before I expanded I wanted to give myself an account for the last couple days of my life. I have to do stuff when I think about it, or its gone from memory. My mom calls it SOMETIMERS....sounds about right!
I have a pretty BAD knack of letting EARTHLY things get to me. I know I need to lay it all at the feet of the cross and stop worrying about it, but it seems my mind doesn't udnerstand that too well. I experience greed, jealously, anger, and I say to myself DON'T and I can't stop. I feel like I am missing out on THINGS, and wonder WHY? Why don't they invite me? Why am I not part of their "thing". And then I wonder WHY? Why do I care? We are only here for a small moment and eternity will be everything I WANT and NEED down here and don't get. So why do those feelings of inadequacy and envy keep coming? Why do I care? Why do I let it bother me?
Finally, I just want to say how heart-broken I am for Hannah Grace's family. I have been following her mom's blogs for a month or more and was checking several times a day for updates. It amazes me how her mom seems to be offering us her heart and soul and even in her darkest days seems to be trying to comfort us, when we should be comforting her. I want my walk with Christ to be that strong. I want to know that even in my darkest hour I will still call out Jesus' name and fall on my knees and know that everything will be okay. Thank you for showing us God's grace during the most difficult time and thank you for showing us your faith..I can't wait to meet Hannah face to face one day when my life ends and my eternity begins!
Okay...I have to go and get my quilts done and my paper done that is due tomorrow...uggh!!
Wednesday, December 09, 2009
MckMama Giveaway
WOW - I don't normally try to win free stuff because, well, because I don't usually win...but I don't want to pass this one up just in case.....lets say I do win....WOWZER. I would love to have this computer that MckMama is advertising, and I am pretty sure you might want it to....so go ahead, give it a try. Go to http://mckgiveaways.blogspot.com/2009/12/hp-touchsmart-giveaway.html and enter yourself. And if you win from seeing on my blog (which I doubt is possible, since it is just me), maybe you can let me play with it once or twice!! LOL
Thursday, December 03, 2009
The Walk, Being Sick, and just Catching Up
Well, I agreed to do the walk with Michaela and think it will do great to help me get some of these excess pounds off. The first week I did great and walked all 4 required days for a total of 13 miles. The second week was Thanksgiving and it started off OK. I walked the 3 on Tuesday and the 4 on Thursday (which was Thanksgiving and I was very proud of myself) but shortly after that I started feeling pretty bad. By saturday when I was supposed to walk again, I could barely breathe or walk...so I sat out that day...and the next...and I haven't started back yet. In my defense when I got to the Urgent Care, I did have an ear infection in both ears (with pus in my ear) on top of the coughing, sneezing, sore throat, achy, chills, just to name a few. I am starting to feel better but am still having a hard time breathing and coughing...so I decided to take this week off and start over next week. I go back to the doctor tomorrow, so hopefully all will be well.
Thanksgiving turned out really nice and I am glad we went, I just hope I didn't get anybody else sick. Christmas is right around the corner and I am hoping to get my energy back sooner than later so I can finish up the hats and quilts I am making for Christmas. I am hoping everybody will be coming here and we won't need to travel this year...we'll see.
I am working on getting my end of the year appraisal done that is due tomorrow. And I am behind on my bible reading and Homework...so I am going to drop off now and will try to come back in a day or two.
Thanksgiving turned out really nice and I am glad we went, I just hope I didn't get anybody else sick. Christmas is right around the corner and I am hoping to get my energy back sooner than later so I can finish up the hats and quilts I am making for Christmas. I am hoping everybody will be coming here and we won't need to travel this year...we'll see.
I am working on getting my end of the year appraisal done that is due tomorrow. And I am behind on my bible reading and Homework...so I am going to drop off now and will try to come back in a day or two.
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Just some crazy thoughts
Jeremy at the Bass Pro ShopIt's only been a couple of days or maybe a week this time. I thought I would try to write a little about what is going on now.
There is one week until Thanksgiving and a 5 weeks until Christmas, time is FLYING!
We are going to go to Kim's/Mom's house next Thursday for 2 days. JC may have gotten a job during the nights, so we will either be home late Friday night or early Saturday.
TJ is turning one this weekend, Maddy will be 3 next week, Jack just turned 10. Earvin is 16 and troubles my heart....I wish he would go home, but that is a whole other post. Robbie is going to be 18...that is crazy!!! Jeremy is 6 and in the first grade and the boys are 12 going on 30 and in the 7th grade. Where does time go?? I wish it was easier to live....so we could enjoy the boys more and worry less.
Michaela called me last week and asked me to walk in a MS walk in MD in May...only 31 miles over 2 days. At first I told her she was crazy, but the more I thought about it, the more I thought if I did this and followed the training schedule, I may get in shape...so I agreed....what was I thinking?? I started yesterday and JC and I walked 3 miles. So I am excited about that.
Stellan (from McMama's website) had an ablation surgery last week and is completely SVT free...but Hannah (another blog I read)is doing worse....I get so sad reading and I have been trying to stop myself...usually I just try to go to the MAIN ones just to check in on how they are doing.
I think Mandy had the baby last night, but haven't been able to confirm that yet....got to run and get some work done. Will try to post more in a bit!
Friday, November 13, 2009
Things are moving....
My mom's quilt (wall hanging) for Christmas
Mandy's quilt and matching pillow
Mandy's blanket and matching pillow
One side of Mandy's tissue box cover
The other side of Mandy's tissue box cover
Hats for Mandy's baby
Well I thought I would definitely write more, but I feel like I keep running out of time. We got loan modifications for both of our loans, it isn't a quick fix but it is helping for the moment. Do I still worry - sure. Do I still feel sick all the time - oh yeah! But I am trying to let it just roll off. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me!!
JC is struggling now with his self-esteem. He hasn't been able to find a job since March and he is feeling worthless, angry, scared, and I am sure many more things...he doesn't handle his feelings very well. He is blaming God and that makes me so sad. He was a changed person and he has completely backslid and I don't know how to help him. All I know is I won't give up on him! I won't!!
Report cards came out last week. Jeremy is doing great as a first grader. He is so smart (just like his brothers) and he has now had several weeks with no letters below the line. If only they could start school later..{sigh}. James had one C but there were a series of circumstances that had led him to have an F at midterms (which is not a norm for him), so I think bringing it from an F to a C in 4 weeks is pretty amazing. Randall had all As & Bs. They are so much like me it is scary....if only they applied themselves more, they would do such amazing things.
So life keeps on moving.....we should be able to handle our bills for a few more months, but if he doesn't find a job soon, I'm not sure how much longer past that we can hold on.
We had a scare about a month ago when about 90% of two groups in my company got laid off. I was very worried, but Randy assured me I would still be employed and even better is I won't need to move to Louisville, he WANTS me to stay remote. I feel so very blessed by this prospect and yet I can't help feel anger, resentment, fear, and hurt by their decisions that will leave many of my friends and fellow coworkers without jobs beginning in March of 2010.
I finished Mandy's stuff for her baby shower *posted some pictures above* and now I am working on quilts and hats for everybody for Christmas! **I posted the first one for Christmas above too...this is for my mom!
Tuesday, October 06, 2009
I long to be like Jesus........
I read and follow many blogs, but none hits me quite as much as Katie at Amazima.
http://kissesfromkatie.blogspot.com/
Katie amazes me with her faith and love and all of the ways she has adapted and the ways she helps children in a country that isn't hers. She has made it hers. She has made the children hers. She loves like Jesus. Serves like Jesus. When Jesus comes, I can only imagine that Katie will be among those at God's feet and will hear "Well done".
http://kissesfromkatie.blogspot.com/
Katie amazes me with her faith and love and all of the ways she has adapted and the ways she helps children in a country that isn't hers. She has made it hers. She has made the children hers. She loves like Jesus. Serves like Jesus. When Jesus comes, I can only imagine that Katie will be among those at God's feet and will hear "Well done".
Thursday, September 24, 2009
Emotions
I started to make a post yesterday, but said to myself NO...you are way too emotional to write anything. What happens if somebody actually reads your Blog? You don't really want anybody to know how you are feeling.....then I read McMama's post title "Honestly". Sure, McMama has hundreds, even thousands of readers, and a few that are personally attacking her. She DOES have the right to say and do whatever she wants on her own blog....so I thought...SO DO YOU!! Nobody reads this, and I have always wanted a place to journal my thoughts and happenings, so why not. But, something is still holding me back.....trust?? fear??? I dunno...it is just there!
Right now, I feel raw. I feel like my minute problems are nothing compared to babies and young mommies dying, and yet, I can't seem to cope. I keep telling myself to stop reading blogs, but it has become an obsession with me. I find these strong, intelligent, wonderful people who are dealing with or have dealt with death in a fashion that shows their love of Jesus Christ. They have peace and it scares me. I am scared that I will never have the kind of peace and dignity that these people have. I am scared I will never know Jesus the way they do. I am trying, but I seem to fail. I am scared if it were to happen to me, that I wouldn't have the love and support that they do.....I feel like I am the support, so if I am sick or gone....who would take over that role?
Is that why I feel raw.....maybe! I don't know why I read and cry and read and cry somemore, but I do believe, there is a reason, and one day I will figure it out....but I am raw because of my problems too. I am sad, stressed, scared, sceptical.....my heart aches because of our financial issues, because of the toll it seems to be having on our marriage, and because of something very hurtful that I heard from somebody who was supposed to love me. I feel betrayed. I feel hurt. I feel sad. I feel like I spend my life making excuses for people and things, but then I am hit the realization that those who are the closest to me and are supposed to love me, are the ones who have the power to hurt me the worse. I feel like the world is closing in on me and I don't know how to stop it. So with all of that being said....where do I go from here? Acts 16:31 - So they said, "Belive on the Lord Jesus Christ, and you will be saved, you and your household."
This house is not my home. My home is wherever my family is...so what do we do? Do we try to save the house, do we do a short sale, let it foreclose? I love our house....but I wonder if it is worth fighting for. I wonder and I worry.....Why can't I let it go? Why can't I give this worry and fear to God the way the Bible tells me to? Why do I want to just curl up in a ball and go to sleep? Why do I have so many questions, when I used to feel like I had all of the answers??
Right now, I feel raw. I feel like my minute problems are nothing compared to babies and young mommies dying, and yet, I can't seem to cope. I keep telling myself to stop reading blogs, but it has become an obsession with me. I find these strong, intelligent, wonderful people who are dealing with or have dealt with death in a fashion that shows their love of Jesus Christ. They have peace and it scares me. I am scared that I will never have the kind of peace and dignity that these people have. I am scared I will never know Jesus the way they do. I am trying, but I seem to fail. I am scared if it were to happen to me, that I wouldn't have the love and support that they do.....I feel like I am the support, so if I am sick or gone....who would take over that role?
Is that why I feel raw.....maybe! I don't know why I read and cry and read and cry somemore, but I do believe, there is a reason, and one day I will figure it out....but I am raw because of my problems too. I am sad, stressed, scared, sceptical.....my heart aches because of our financial issues, because of the toll it seems to be having on our marriage, and because of something very hurtful that I heard from somebody who was supposed to love me. I feel betrayed. I feel hurt. I feel sad. I feel like I spend my life making excuses for people and things, but then I am hit the realization that those who are the closest to me and are supposed to love me, are the ones who have the power to hurt me the worse. I feel like the world is closing in on me and I don't know how to stop it. So with all of that being said....where do I go from here? Acts 16:31 - So they said, "Belive on the Lord Jesus Christ, and you will be saved, you and your household."
This house is not my home. My home is wherever my family is...so what do we do? Do we try to save the house, do we do a short sale, let it foreclose? I love our house....but I wonder if it is worth fighting for. I wonder and I worry.....Why can't I let it go? Why can't I give this worry and fear to God the way the Bible tells me to? Why do I want to just curl up in a ball and go to sleep? Why do I have so many questions, when I used to feel like I had all of the answers??
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