If We Ever Needed You, Lord it's Now!

I love that song....we need you Lord.

It's been awhile since I wrote, I promised I would be better this year, but wow time just seems to fly. Sometimes I feel like I get so busy that I don't stop and give myself room to breathe....but then I think if I stop, it will give me time to think, time to ponder, time for Satan to get in my head and make me doubt....so I just keep going.

The Lord has blessed me with a good-paying job, it has been our saving grace for the past 10 years (as of May 30th). It has given me the chance to earn my Bachelors Degree. It has given me the chance to work from home and watch my children grow. It has given me great benefits. That is not to say I haven't worked hard to get where I am...I have, but I am so blessed to have a job....I just wish it was doing something I love. That is part of my problem I am having today...why can't I just be happy with what I have? Why isn't the ability to provide for my family enough? Why do I find myself wanting more? I know the answer doesn't lie in the actual job...it has to do with me, my soul, my circumstances, and not relying on God for my happiness. I have been here before, I hate here....I want to live without doubt and fear, anger and depression, jealousy and envy, and being discontent.

It is hard. Marriage is hard. Parenting is hard. Staying focused at work is hard. LIFE is hard. Friendships are hard. Being a Christian is hard. What? Being a Christian shouldn't be hard.....but it is. On one hand, as a Christian, you deal with people who call you Bible Thumpers, illogical, and not understanding why you choose to serve His church....then on the other hand, you have Christians walking beside you, judging you, condemning you for not living like Jesus. I honestly believe the latter is what is causing my discontent right now. I know I am not perfect. I struggle everyday. I struggle with finding quiet time with God, I struggle with finding time to read and study his word, I struggle with jealousy and envy and feelings of being inadequate. And because I struggle, I know my family also struggles, not necessarily because of me, but because I see them walking through this as well. I see men telling my husband he is not living up to the Bible because he doesn't work to support our family. I see people talking down to him when he needs to be picked up. I see him pushing everybody and everything away because it is easier to pretend he doesn't care then to be hurt yet again by us humans. I see his personality disorder and I pray that he would see it too...but he doesn't. He is letting Satan win, he is letting him use other people to drag him down.

Galatians 6 says "Brothers and sisters, if someone is caught in a sin, you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently. But watch yourselves, or you also may be tempted. 2 Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ. 3 If anyone thinks they are something when they are not, they deceive themselves. 4 Each one should test their own actions. Then they can take pride in themselves alone, without comparing themselves to someone else, 5 for each one should carry their own load. 6 Nevertheless, the one who receives instruction in the word should share all good things with their instructor.

My prayer today is that people who feel it is their job to judge others here on earth will look at the verse above where it says they should meet the person who is sinning where they are to help them walk away from the sin...it never says to use condemnation.

A good Christian friend that has mentored me for the past 12 years told me that Jesus never condemned the sinners that he came across. He treated them with love, pointing out the sins but showing his love. The only people he condemned were those who were telling others that they weren't living up to the laws they had set. I don't want to live my life hating all people, hating all books that don't meet a certain criteria, hating people who don't act like they are walking with Christ. I don't believe it is our job to point out who is or isn't following Christ. I don't believe it is our job at all. I believe our job is to love one another.....here are just a few verses that tell us we must love...

1.John 13:34
“A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.
John 13:33-35 (in Context) John 13 (Whole Chapter)
2.John 13:35
By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”
John 13:34-36 (in Context) John 13 (Whole Chapter)
3.Romans 12:10
Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves.
Romans 12:9-11 (in Context) Romans 12 (Whole Chapter)
4.Romans 13:8
[ Love Fulfills the Law ] Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another, for whoever loves others has fulfilled the law.
Romans 13:7-9 (in Context) Romans 13 (Whole Chapter)
5.2 Corinthians 13:11
[ Final Greetings ] Finally, brothers and sisters, rejoice! Strive for full restoration, encourage one another, be of one mind, live in peace. And the God of love and peace will be with you.
2 Corinthians 13:10-12 (in Context) 2 Corinthians 13 (Whole Chapter)
6.Galatians 5:13
[ Life by the Spirit ] You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh ; rather, serve one another humbly in love.
Galatians 5:12-14 (in Context) Galatians 5 (Whole Chapter)
7.Ephesians 4:2
Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.
Ephesians 4:1-3 (in Context) Ephesians 4 (Whole Chapter)
8.1 Thessalonians 4:9
Now about your love for one another we do not need to write to you, for you yourselves have been taught by God to love each other.

I am tired of being sad. I am tired of feeling anger. I am tired of hurting and not being able to say how I feel. I am tired of double standards. I am tired of people talking about people behind their backs and being their best friends in their face. I am just tired. God has commanded us to love one another...and I plan to continue to do that. I plan to take the higher road and leave the hatred behind. I plan to remove distractions from my life that makes feel bad about myself. I plan to love because He first loved me!