Cell phone vs. The Bible

I usually get anywhere from 20 to 2000 emails on any given day between the 3 email addresses I use....my personal, my work, and the one I use when joining stuff online.....For the most part, most of them are tossed without ever opening. Some are looked at and tossed because although I might get a laugh at it, I don't want to spread it any further....but every so often I get some that really touch my heart. The poem I posted a couple days ago was one....and here is another...this is so true!!!

Ever wonder what would happen if we treated our
Bible like we treated our cell phone?
What if we carried it around in our purses or pockets?
What if we flipped through it several time a day?
What if we turned back to go get it if we forgot it?
What if we used it to receive messages from the text?
What if we treated it like we couldn't live without it?
What if we gave it to kids as gifts?
What if we used it when we traveled?
What if we used it in case of emergency?
This is something to make you go....hmm...where is my Bible?
Oh, and one more thing.
Unlike our cell phone, we don't have to worry about our Bible
being disconnected because Jesus already paid the bill.
And no dropped calls!
Makes you stop and think 'where are my priorities?

Trust in the Lord and *ASAP (Always Say A Prayer)
Have a blessed and wonderful day!

A Few Updates

On Thursday night, JC's birthday, we went to Lynn and Kenny's house for his birthday dinner. We had told them we would be going out to On The Border, but they wanted to save us money, so we went there instead and she made tacos and chili and TWO cakes...WOW. We have met some awesome, awesome people from our church. Here are a few pics of that night. We had a lot of fun playing Guesstures...LOL


JC in the van on the way to Lynne and Kenny's house

The other team during Guesstures...they beat us bad! LOL

The kids eating at the dinner table.

We had a really good time and on Friday afternoon JC left to go to the Men's Retreat. The boys and I went over to Jessica's house and while they played and watched the Hulk, Jessica and I scrapbooked and watched 27 Dresses. It was cute. I didn't get much done scrapbook wise...but it was fun just the same. On Saturday morning, the boys and I cleaned the house and then we all went to see High School Musical 3. The theatre was packed. I read online yesterday that sales for the movie topped 42 million...WOW. Good thing we had gift cards...LOL. The boys were very happy to see that JC was home when we got back. Yesterday the boys played outside after church while I did Homework....thats about it.

Fourteen Years ago yesterday......

Yesterday was JC's 37th birthday. It is hard to believe that it was 14 years ago (on his birthday) that I met him. We were both different people back then. I'm positive God knew what He was doing when he brought us together. Michaela introduced me to him and he was going through his "thug" stage in life. Baggy pants and sweatshirt, hat pulled down over his eyes, smoking, drinking. Not exactly the type of person I usually fell for.....

But it was just 4 months after a breakup with my on again/off again high school sweetheart. I had dated my ex, for my entire high school career. Even after he degraded me with his words and actions. Even after I knew he had cheated on me several times. Even after I found this wonderful guy who liked me and I turned away from him because Jason wanted me back. Even after all of that, when I met JC, I was still in love with Jason, but I was trying to prove to myself and the world that I was over him. I am not the type of person who falls in and out of love. That just isn't me. I made a few mistakes over those few short months. I don't regret them, because all of my life experiences have brought me to this place I am today. They made me into who I have become. My love for JC wasn't immediate, it wasn't love at first sight, and that first year was the hardest I had ever been through. JC had so many issues from his childhood that haunted him with every breath he breathed. I knew God, I have always known God since I was a little girl (and I am so thankful that I was taught something useful as a child), but those years after my parents divorce in 1980 and when I got married in 1997 was definitely not used to promote God or Jesus, or in some cases even acknowledge His existence. But looking back, I know He was with us. He helped me break through JC's walls of resistance. He helped us build a home together, and gave us three healthy, beautiful children. He knew that 14 years ago yesterday, a new life had begun in both of us.

Today, we look back at where we were and where we are headed. We are true children of God. We aren't perfect....but we are trying so hard to please Him. We found the MOST AWESOME church with people who care about God's children. People who care enough to make a difference in so many lives and who choose to praise God and spread the good word of His son. That is a great feeling....knowing that finally our choices are going to be a blessing for our children and not a hinderance. Finding this church and the love of it's people has been THE very most important thing that has happened in my life.

So JC is 37 today....it's hard to believe that 14 years ago on his 23rd birthday, we took him to Chuck E Cheese. LOL....but really, it's not hard to believe....because God had this planned even before I was created. NOW....THAT IS AWESOME!

Here is a Christian poem that I thought fits me perfectly:

BEAUTIFUL CHRISTIAN SISTER
By Maya Angelou

'A woman's heart should be so hidden in Christ
That a man should have to seek Him first to find her.'

When I say... 'I am a Christian'I'm not shouting 'I'm clean livin''I'm whispering 'I was lost,
Now I'm found and forgiven.
'When I say... 'I am a ChristianI don't speak of this with pride.I'm confessing that I stumble and need Christ to be my guide.
When I say... 'I am a Christian'I'm not trying to be strong.I'm professing that I'm weak and need His strength to carry on.
When I say... 'I am a Christian'I'm not bragging of success.I'm admitting I have failed and need God to clean my mess.
When I say... 'I am a Christian'I'm not claiming to be perfect,My flaws are far too visible but,God believes I am worth it.
When I say... 'I am a Christian'I still feel the sting of pain...I have my share of heartaches,so I call upon His name.
When I say... 'I am a Christian'I'm not holier than thou,I'm just a simple sinnerWho received God's good grace, somehow!

Pretty is as Pretty does... But beautiful is just plain beautiful!

Emotional Roller Coaster these days.....

That's what my life feels like. I go from happy to sad, to scared, to worried, back to peaceful, and then angry. So much is happening and as overwhelming it is to me, I love it! I love that the boys have this fire to know Jesus. I love that they are excited about being a Christian. I love that they want to spend time in fellowship with other people. Its great. I wouldn't trade it for anything. So what is my problem....well I will just talk about a FEW of them.

Sadness....my boys are growing up. Today I let Jeremy walk down the hill to school by himself. YES, I stood there the whole time and watched and waved everytime he turned around. He is so smart and comes home everyday having learned something new. I am so proud of him and yet I don't want to let him go. How selfish of me! How selfish to think I can hold back a child that God has only given me on loan. He is Jeremy's maker and I know He wouldn't want him to be held back. So I have a pity party for myself and then feel bad because I don't think God would want me to act that way, which makes me even more sad....it's a vicious cycle. As far as the older two boys, I feel like I don't know what is going on with them anymore. Being in middle school they have so many teachers and so much happening, and I get a few tidbits out of them each day, but it's so much different from Elementary School and I miss them. They are gone so many hours of each day. And this weekend they will be camping, but I love the fact that they want me to come pick them up early from camp on Sunday morning so they won't miss going to church with us. They have a chapel service at the camp before they head home...but they want to go with us...>WOW>

Happiness...a new found friend/leader in my Financial Peace class giving me a gift card to the movies simply because she knew I am going to take the boys next weekend while JC is on the men's retreat and because her husband doesn't like going to the movies, she thought I would be the perfect person to use it. How awesome is that. It's weird for me to accept gifts from people, because I am so used to being the one who is giving. So to be on the receiving end this year is hard for me, but so glorious at the same time. Two weeks ago an anonymoys person at the church gave us a $200 giftcard to Walmart. WOW....this was one of those times when my heart was swelling with gratitude and beating with pain because I just know there is somebody out there who needs it more than we do. I need to learn to take a blessing in only gratitude...I pray that the Lord grants me that luxury. *****another happiness***** and even more important is hearing the Children's pastor tell me that he wants both of my sons on the Bible quiz team as they both buzzed in and answered a bible verse question. How awesome....since this time last year they weren't even involved in any church at all. How far they have come...how far we have come as a family...Praise God!

Anger....a couple of small things....I'm angry that I have to see Politician ads everytime I turn the TV spewing nonsense that I don't want to hear. I'm angry that the media only reports on what they think will bring ratings. I am angry that people are trying to take away my freedom by censoring us and trying to remove God from everything...schools, courtrooms, money, our anthem. I'm angry that the woman down the street snubs her nose at the prospect of using the NEW crossing walk because it will take the kids getting used to. Who cares....as long as it is safer? I'm angry mostly right now because of my Professor in my Sociology class that I am taking right now. So angry and upset that I am considering calling my school to change professors. She has sent out an email to everybody saying we are to stop the discussion line, and i feel she is saying that not because it is detrimental to our class but because she doesn't agree with our points of view. I am angry that she tells us to stop, but then she posts on 2 separate occasions things that I don't agree with and that anger me. She said that Christianity is a sexist organization. She also said that we can't reach Democracy as long as women aren't allowed access or choice of getting birth control, abortions, etc. WHAT?? Isn't that her opinion? It certainly isn't mine. Why I let people get to me is beyond me....I am asking God now to show me clarity. I'm also angry at myself because I find myself continuously backsliding and cussing when I am upset/angry. I don't want to do it....it just pops out and then I feel so bad and dirty. It's kind of like eating....which is another anger at myself. I know I shouldn't eat the stuff I do, but I do it, then feel bad. What is that? I think this anger of my weight moves towards sadness as well...because I am watching the biggest loser and I just cry and cry and cry as this girl is working through her eating habits by realizing the hurt and anger and fear that she has carried around with her for the past 6 years since her parents' divorce. I see myself in her and wonder how I can continue to carry that pain 20 years later. Is it because I never worked through it? I wonder if all of my others symptoms would leave if I can just get rid of this feeling I have over my parent's divorce? I wonder...and I do nothing about it. That makes me angry - me not doing anything about it. Our pastor talked of forgiveness of others as a way to Jesus Christ. And I try and I thought it was long over...but it's not...I think I have just repressed it. I also wonder how we are supposed to forgive when the one person who has hurt me continues to hurt me daily?

OK - on to the next feeling (or should I say feelingS). Worry/Peaceful...how is it possible to be on the same subject? Well our financial problems are a huge concern for me. We are definitely spending way more than we are making and we are trying to correct the problem. We are taking Financial Peace University through our church and it honestly is bringing me peace. Not all the time like it should...I know if I give it up to the Lord AND LET IT GO, I would find that peace, but something in me, can't let it go. SO I worry...and when we take a small step forward I feel a little bit of peace. Like for instance 6 weeks ago when we started I had a Savings Account with only $25 in it (only to keep it open). Today, I have another Savings Account that has $240. It's not much, but it is a start and hopefully in the next two days or so, I will have another $35-$50 to add to it. I am still selling stuff on Craig's List and trying to get a dollar here and a dollar there to add to it. So there is some peace....I just have to keep that feeling.

I'm sure there are many more that I have forgotten...but I've got to get to work. I guess this could actually take all day...hummm...I know one day, there will be no more hurt and anger and fear. One day I will meet Jesus face to face...but until then....I want to try to lighten my load....that is my prayer for myself this week....the learn to lighten my load.

When You Thought I Wasn't Looking

When You Thought I Wasn't Looking
A message every adult should read because childrenare watching you and doing as you do, not as you say.
When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you hang myfirst painting on the refrigerator, and I immediatelywanted to paint another one.
When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you feed astray cat, and I learned that it was good to be kindto animals.
When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you make myfavorite cake for me, and I learned that the littlethings can be the special things in life.
When you thought I wasn't looking I heard you say aprayer, and I knew that there is a God I could alwaystalk to, and I learned to trust in Him.
When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you make ameal and take it to a friend who was sick, and Ilearned that we all have to help take care of each other.When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw you give ofyour time and money to help people who had nothing,and I learned that those who have something shouldgive to those who don't.
When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you take careof our house and everyone in it, and I learned we haveto take care of what we are given.
When you thought I wasn't looking I saw how youhandled your responsibilities, even when you didn'tfeel good, and I learned that I would have to beresponsible when I grow up.
When you thought I wasn't looking I saw tears comefrom your eyes, and I learned that sometimes thingshurt, but it's all right to cry.
When you thought I wasn't looking I saw that youcared, and I wanted to be everything that I could be.
When you thought I wasn't looking I learned most oflife's lessons that I need to know to be a good andproductive person when I grow up.
When you thought I wasn't looking I looked at you andwanted to say, Thanks for all the things I saw whenyou thought I wasn't looking.'
I am sending this to all of the peopleI know who do so much for others,but think that no one ever sees.
Little Eyes See A Lot.
Each of us(parent, grandparent, aunt, uncle, teacher, friend)influences the life of a child.
How will you touch the life of someone today?
Just by sending this to someone else,you will probably make them at leastthink about their influence on others.
Live simply.Love generously.Care deeply.Speak kindly.
Leave the rest to God.

Yard Sale, LifeChain, etc....

Well - things are getting busy again...but I am determined to keep up with this blog. Last week I sold the drum set and a box of CDs before the yard sale started and I had all ready made $105...after the yard sale, I had $220 towards my Emergency Fund. I took $20 out of this to give to the church, so when I opened my new Savings Account yesterday, I deposited $20. I have listed more stuff on Craig's List and hopefully today somebody is coming to pick up 2 series of movies for $20 each. We were blessed to get this much and I am thankful for having a start.


On Sunday, JC and the boys and I all participated in LifeChain which is a silent stand against abortion. It was a very moving experience for me. I have never done something like that before, but it felt good. We had a busy day as I worked in the nursery during first service, attended the 2nd service, left there around 12 and had to meet at 1:45 for LifeChain, then we got home around 3:30, the boys had to be back at the church for Collision at 5, Jeremy had choir at 6. I was pooped, but having a church family is so wonderful and I love being there and being involved.

Somebody from the church gave me a gift card to Wal-mart because they thought I could use it. I want to cry....it is the nicest thing to have people caring about you. My first thought was to help pay for groceries with it, then we thought, maybe we could save it to be able to get one or two small gifts for the boys for Christmas, but this morning we realized that we need to buy the bigger boys some clothes. They are growing out of everything. I still need to find a way to get new uniforms and their sashes for Boy Scouts, but I am not going to concern myself with that right now....we are just going to keep putting it in God's hands. He is so wonderful! We have been praying and asking for prayers for our situation...and He delivers!

I offered to help Jeremy's teacher with her Fall Festival basket which was Children's books. Here is the finished product. I think it turned out great.


Jeremy posing with his friend - Mr Punkin - we had to get some seeds for his October Calendar homework and he wanted to draw the face...which he did all by himself.

Here is one of Jeremy showing off his homework. I haven't taken any recent pics of James and Randall, but I will. They are growing so fast and they are so busy with Collision, Awana, and Boy Scouts and I sent in the paperwork for them to start Basketball...all 3 of them...WOW!

OK - so my lunch time is almost over....its back to work I go!

WW and Clutter

I've been trying to catch up on here everything that has been going on since June...and I keep forgetting to come and say that I am no longer doing WW. We are trying to cut back on spending and it was an easy decision to save that $40 a month. I am hoping to keep losing, but so far I haven't been doing so good....I have finally decided to put it up to God with the rest of my prayers. Why haven't I been doing this up until now?

I am not a very good person to pray. I get nervous when doing it out loud. Worried about how others perceive me....but I am trying to get better at that as well. JC and I have started praying together...that's a great feeling. And I have been making a point to pray with the boys each night as Jeremy would say "pray at the bed". Apparently he heard that from Awana and I was so proud that he remembered it....again - Why haven't I been doing this? So I have been asking God for alot lately. Safety, health, financial problems, help with praying, help with losing weight. I feel guilty for all I ask for, but I also let Him know how blessed I feel. Recently, we have had a lot of rain. I think it is wonderful...of course there are a bunch of people who complain...but I am pretty sure they are the same people who were complaining just 2 months ago because we are in a drought.

Political "friends".....Why do people insist on sending emails with their personal opinions about who I should vote for this November? Why do I have to get 2 or 3 phone calls a day from people who want to know? It's private...nobody needs to know until I get to that poll. I don't like discussing politics with my friends. They make me feel bad for my opinions. They make me get angry and I don't want to be angry. I just want to make this decision with only God's influence and nobody elses. People are saying President Bush is bad because he sent us to war.....all I have to say about that is when he took action to stand up for our country back in September 2001, everybody was for him and behind him. I don't like thinking about men and women dying anywhere, but they are out there fighting for not only their lives, but our lives as well and I think it is a disgrace that the American people don't want to support them. Other people are saying that the Republicans are forcing the media to not show footage of the damage caused by Hurrican Ike. Are you serious? The media is running the election. The media discusses whatever the media wants to? And don't they remember the soldiers that are fighting everyday for our freedoms....if the Republicans took their right to speak away....wouldn't that defeat the purpose? Some people are saying Barack Obama is the antichrist. There is much debate about that and for a little bit I think I believed it, until I did some research and learned that the Bible doesn't truly describe what the antichrist will be (a Muslim male in his 40s). Only God and his angels know the answer to that one...Some people are saying some pretty horrible things about Sarah Palin. How she runs Alaska, what she allows and what she tries to force with her authority. That scares me...I wonder is any of this true? Do people truly know these facts or are they just trying to get me on their side? I'm not asking you to choose sides....just expressing my concerns/thoughts about this election. I think the best advice I have heard up to now was to pray to God to help me make the best decision.

Lastly, my foot.....back in July - I dropped a heavy wood 5 Ft, 3 panelled frame on my foot. I have attached a couple of pictures of that as well. I am going tonight to have a MRI because the place above my big toe has formed a Hematoma. The 2nd picture is the boot I had to wear after they tried to drain it. Who would have ever thought it would take this long to heal?

Dog training. I have been working with a dog trainer to get Blondie acting better. We have seen a big improvement...but there is still so much work to be done. I think I am holding her back because I am not forceful enough....well here is a picture of her as a SMALL puppy....gonna go out now during the 2nd half of my lunch and work with her.

OOPS....PS - Forgot to mention the clutter....clutter is everywhere...I feel stressed...gonna have a yard sale this Saturday to try to get rid of some of this stuff we don't need. I need help especially with my pictures and scrapbooking materials that have gotten way out of control.

Some thoughts and pictures

The only picture I could find of Earvin - gray shirt

Starting at the top - Kodey, James, Robbie, Randall, Billy, Alayna, Bella, and Jeremy

Robbie

Miller Family Reunion - this is the Freda Louise Miller Unger Harich family

Randall

James

Jack and Jeremy

Cousin get-together (Dani, Katie, Rick, me, Kim, and Steph)

My girl - Maddy.

Since I haven't been on here lately, I thought I would share some thoughts and pictures of the last several months. It's been long and stressful and at times I seem to falter, but I keep thinking to myself that I need to keep looking up.

My default picture is of my family reunion on my dad's side back in March. At the end of June we went to Florida to have a family reunion on my mom's side. I planned both of them so I stressed the first half of the year about those. I promised myself I wouldn't run myself ragged over the summer this year, but once again that proved false. I traveled about 6000 miles in 2 miles. We went to VA for my job, a week later we went to FL, a week after returning we went to VA and Eastern NC to visit family, and a few weeks later made the trip again. I had all of my nephews and niece down except for Earvin (he promises to come next summer). I love that time with them. Although I seem to always be so stressed out while they are here. I can't afford big dollar gifts for them, so I hope when they think back to their childhood, they think of the time with me and not the gifts from others. My sister is due to have another boy at the end of November/beginning of December. That will make 8 between the 3 of us. All boys, except for Maddy....she isn't mine...but she looks more like me than her own momma...so I guess I can take that. I really honestly always wanted a girl, but I believe that God knows what He had planned for us and He has given us all we can handle.

The last couple of months has left us struggling with our finances. We are OK...but have so much debt it's hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel. We are taking a great class - Financial Peace University and it has some wonderful ideas of how to turn our life around. I hope it works for us. JC (my husband) has put his car up for sale to help alleviate some of our debt. It will at least get us started. I have gone through our house and pulled out a bunch of stuff to sell at a yard sale that I am going to have this weekend. Anything made from that will go towards our Emergency Fund that we are trying to build. Enough with the depressing stuff.

My last thought for the day is that I go to the most awesome church ever. The people are so loving, caring, and thoughtful. I want to fill my life up with everything they have to offer. The older boys go to Collision on Sundays and Jeremy has joined the children's choir. They all three also go to Awana on Wednesday nights while we are in our Financial Peace class. On Saturday I went to a Laughter and Latte gathering with other women in the church and had a really good time. I want to be more involved with these ladies and hope to make it to the women's retreat in May. We missed the Baptism this weekend, but we hope to all get baptised as a family at the next one......JC has some questions to ask first and once he deals with some of his fears, we hope to move forward to publicly display our love for Jesus. I can't wait for that day!

Here are some pictures of the past couple of months. I have so many, but I will have to narrow it down. :-) Well the pictures are on the top...not very good at posting pictures obviously...anybody have any suggestions. Bye for now....I am getting ready to leave to go to the foot doctor....long story and would need a whole other post.

I'm back on Blogger

Back in June I said I would be be posting more but here it is almost October and I haven't posted in awhile. I have been watching a family blog about their adventure of adopting a young girl from China. I have never met this family but feel as if I know them so much, and of course I do believe we are sisters and brothers in Christ. They are a great family. Recently I have been following several other families, all who are now or have adopted from China in the past. Their stories have really touched me and sometimes I sit here and just cry, from their joy and their pain and their ability to make me laugh and cry and praise God with them. I also noticed that when I was wanting to have my friends/family pray with me for this little girl Susannah, I wrote about it on my Myspace page, but was reluctant to put their web page link on Myspace because I don't think the people who are my friends on there would truly understand. I started thinking how very sad it was and decided I wanted to get back to blogging here. I have used Blogger/Blogspot since 2005, but I feel a bond with these families that I don't feel with my friends and families that I honestly know. So here I am. I don't have any readers or friends....but if anybody is reading this and you see that I have been reading your pages...I just want you to know how very blessed you make me feel and I pray that God continues to bless you all!

Bobbie

New Lifestyle - NEWEST Update!

I went for my 6th weigh-in today and lost another 2.4 pounds. A total of 14.8 pounds since i started Weight Watchers in April. And a total of 26.8 pounds since November....which means I have met my first 25-pound goal and got myself some new socks today! I am very excited and feel very good about my progress so far. I am aiming to reach my 50 pound mark by the end of July, and hope to be down another 12.8 pounds by the 4th of July.

I can do this. I know God is helping me get through this. He is with me and I praise Him every day!

45 Minutes on the Treadmill

I don't have much of an update. My weight is about the same today, but I finally FORCED myself to go to the gym last night with JC and we both walked on the Treadmill for 45 minutes (48 if you count the cool down period). The fact that I even went is a miracle in my mind since I had gotten a migraine mid-afternoon. After we were done and ate dinner, we cleaned the pool. By that time it was almost bed time. The days seem to keep passing faster and faster.



Until next time...........

New Lifestyle - UPDATE! :-)

Well - I have been "trying" to lose weight since November. I started Weight Watchers 3 weeks ago and up until that point, I had lost about 15 pounds give or take a few depending on which day I weighed. Saturday was my 4th weigh-in (so 3 weeks I have been at this) and I have lost a total of 10.6 pounds. When added to what I had all ready lost, I am now down about 23 pounds. Which means 2 more pounds to my first 25-pound milestone. I was VERY excited to see those numbers. I think my doctor will be when I go back to him as well. Eating healthier is much more expensive, but I think it is definitely worth it to save my life.

Yesterday we walked about 20-25 minutes around our neighborhood with the dog. Then before I went to bed, I rode my stationary bike for 15 minutes and rode 8 miles and burned about 380 calories. I did a few sit-ups and stretched a little too. I feel good. Most of the house is clean. Everything that is except the kitchen and my office, but I am doing a little at a time. And the 15-minute plan I have implemented with the boys is doing great. The house has actually stayed clean for 2 days, which has to be a record. Hopefully I can get the kitchen done this week and my office COMPLETELY done by next weekend. It's a goal...I won't get upset if it doesn't pan out...I have to start writing both of my papers that are due in 3 weeks, plus do all of my normal WORK and SCHOOL WORK plus try to get in a class or two for my job. My TO DO list seems to continue to grow, but I am not letting it win over me. One or two things are getting done each day, so that is good.

We are going to have a yard sale next Saturday to try and raise a few dollars for spending money for the boys when we go to Florida. Originally I wanted to donate all of these clothes to the orphanage, but she said they didn't need anymore, so I am going to try to sell them and whatever is left, I am going to box them up and take them to goodwill. Hopefully I can get the garage cleaned out some. I am in a lets throw everything out type of mood. Really....we won't be able to take it with us when we go to meet the Good Lord, so why keep it. I like FlyLady's advice on this one...if you don't like it, if it don't fit, or if it doesn't make you happy - throw it out. At this point, I would be happy to just keep my kids, my husband, my pets, my clothes, and my scrapbooking supplies. I would love to get rid of all of the dolphins in my room, but JC won't hear of it...well at least the room is clean now, and doesn't feel so overwhelming.

The boys went on a 10- mile hike this weekend with JC and the scout troop. They did so good and both actually completed the walk. I couldn't be more proud of them!! OK - so back to work I go. I will try to post my workout information and my weight loss (or gain) more frequently.

Weight Watchers Update, Security, and my boys are home!

Well - I went back for my weigh in on Saturday...and I had lost 5.4 pounds. What a great way to start off this journey I am taking. I am very excited for the choices I am making. Jeremy wanted to go to Friendly's on Friday night (he had a free meal coupon for his birthday and the other boys had left to go to Ft. Bragg). I pulled the Nutrional Information off the Internet and was shocked at how fattening the foods are there. Definitely not a Weight Watchers place to go. I planned my points during the day so that I had 22 points left when we went. I planned my meal from the menu and NI and decided I would get a side salad with no dressing and a cup of broccoli cheddar soup. That would leave me plenty of points to get a dessert...not the one I usually get, but it was almost as good. When I got there, there was no broccoli cheddar soup, so instead of even looking at the menu...that would have been worthless since I all ready knew how many points all of the rest of the junk was....I took just the salad and the icecream, stayed within my points value AND was pleasantly surpsied at how fulfilled I felt when we were done. I am very proud of myself and look forward to meeting my short and long term goals. So I have something to look forward to, I am listing my goals here...if you are reading this, please do get overwhelmed at the HIGH amount that I need to lose. I tend to get overwhelmed when I think long-term, but the short term goals keep my mind set:

25 pounds (since I started trying to lose weight back in November, I am down 18 pounds) - buying new "girlie" socks
50 pounds - buying new "girlie" underwear
75 pounds - buying new "girlie" bras
100 pounds - donating my hair to locks of love (I have always wanted to do this)
125 pounds - buying a whole new wardrobe
150 pounds - JC and I (and probably the boys) are going on a cruise.

I believe these goals are attainable and I am going to do my best to ensure my success this time. I need to be healthy for my kids. I want to be around to watch them grow into young men. I need to do this for myself. I hope you will come along for my journey. I believe my faith in God is going to make this happen for me this time. I feel like having him on my side is the greatest blessing I could ever receive.

OK - on to more scary stuff...I got a bulletin post on Myspace last week that kind of made me nervous. It was a letter from a predator that showed how much information they could obtain from a simple Myspace page. I have changed all of my settings for this blog and for Myspace. I don't want to put my family, especially my children, at risk, so I am trying to give myself a little protection from eyes that shouldn't be focused on my page. I almost thought of deleting this entirely, but I love posting my thoughts and feelings here. It is helping me get rid of some of the emotional baggage that I tend to let build up inside of me. So....hopefully this is more secure and I can continue to post with no ill feelings.

Finally....MY BOYS ARE HOME. They got back around 1pm yesterday afternoon from Ft. Bragg. It was so good to see them. They did so well and I am very proud of them. They are growing up fast and I hope I have done enough to make them grow into men that Jesus can be proud of. I praise God for their health and happiness and returning them safely to me.

OOPs....one more thing...I had a chance to go with our church to the local orphanage to help paint a cottage of a group of boys. What a fulfilling experience. I am going to try to gather up stuff that doesn't fit anymore and take it there to donate. I am also going to volunteer my time, I feel it in my heart...this is something I need to do for them and for me! I am also going to fill out some paperwork so Jeremy can go back and play with Dylan...a boy his age that has been in this home for almost a year. OOOOOHHHH...what a heartbreaking experience!

Love and Blessings to everyone this week.

Bobbie

Weight Watchers and Billy Graham...

Well....Saturday morning, I finally took the plunge and have decided to start going to Weight Watchers again. I am very excited and have set small goals for myself which I believe I will be able to accomplish.

Saturday afternoon, JC and the boys and I went to Charlotte to see the Billy Graham Library. What a wonderful place! So peaceful....and serene! Here are a few pictures:

The boys listening to Betsy the Cow

My family in front of the library

Copied BLOG from Myspace Page

Well I wrote this blog on Myspace earlier mainly because there are many of my Myspace friends who don't believe in God. You find this out when you read their survey answers. Last week at church our Pastor talked about us proclaiming our love for God to tell people what He is doing in my life. He is doing great things in my life and maybe one day soon He will finally enable me to talk in front of a crowd, but for now this is a start. I want to start proclaiming my love for Him in BLOG form. Sure maybe some people will read it and some won't...but even if it helps just one person come to know Him....that is the point...RIGHT? So here it is, I have copied it on the off chance that anybody actually is reading my Blogger Blog.

I got this great book from the library last night written by Billy Graham and absolutely love this paragraph so I thought I would share it with everybody. I have been let down so many times in my life that hearing this really put things into perspective for me.

"Human friends my fail us, but God never will. He wants to be our friend, and for us to be His friends as well. Once you understand this, your life will never be the same." - Billy Graham

And one more....I like this too because I think this is what I have experience throughout my life. I have cut some of the sentences out, to say what stood out for me:

"Why are we so restless? Why are we constantly searching for lasting peace and contentment, andyet never fully satisfied? The Bible says this happens to us for a very good reason: We are incomplete without God. If we leave Him out of our lives, we have an empty place in our souls, a yearning deep inside us that God can satisfy. No matter how hard we try, if we ignore God that hollow place stays with us, and our search for lasting peace and happiness will be futile." - Billy Graham

That sums it up for me. I grew during my childhood in faith and although I never lost my faith for Jesus Christ, I didn't grow with it anymore after 5th grade. I let a seperation come between me and my faith and have felt lost since then. I have tried occasionally to bring it back into my life and into the lives of my children and never could seem to do it. Finally, finally....we have seen what truly happens when we allow Him into our world. The best word to describe it is PEACE.
I know there are alot of you that may read this that are sceptical and don't know God and that is why I am writing this. I want to proclaim my love for Him, I want to tell the world that I know him and what He has done for me, and I want other people to come to know Him like I have. I know if you are not sure about Him, a few words from me may not affect your life, so I only want to say this and then I will leave it alone:

I have no question that Jesus died for my sins and that God created me. I know that I have been blessed in ways that many can't see or understand. I have this belief that is hard for some people to fathom, but to those people I want you to think about this, "I would rather live my life believing there is a God and find out after I die that there isn't, then to live my life believing there is not a God and find out that there is." God promises many great things for those that believe in Him. Eternal life is the biggest blessing that I have received. Knowing that I won't be going to hell is just as big.

I love you all - God Bless You!

Bobbie

Money.....

Well, it was definitely PMS that had me acting like a fool the other day. I figured it was. I am USUALLY pretty calm and collected, until that week before my friend comes (why do people say that anyway....never once have I felt like it was a friend - especially now with all the problems I have with it). I become a different person when it comes. This time wasn't so bad, just lasted one day and I was more sad and teary. USUALLY, I am mean for several days. I won't lie...I know it is an issue that I am trying to work out, and I can only say I believe it is the love of God that has gotten me from several days of MEANNESS to one day of SADNESS. What progress! Amazing Grace......you know it was bad when your son says (upon finding out that you are starting) "Oh no, mean mom" or something like that....LOL. Well since I am on this subject...let me just tell you that my 4 year old thinks tampons are called "TOPONS". I guess it is a cross between the tampon and a coupon....LOLOL

So anyway, on to the money issue. I dislike money. I dislike living from one paycheck to another. I dislike worrying about where the grocery money will come from and I dislike people who try to hold me back. I wanted to get a personal loan from the bank that I have been with for 2 years so I can pay off these high interest rate credit cards and throw them out....but my credit score wasn't high enough. The woman turned "witchy" when I questioned her about not telling me how HIGH the scores had to be BEFORE she ran my credit. Worse she acted like I had told a fib, when in fact I GUESSTIMATED only 4 points LESS than my actual credit score. The bank is not willing to take a risk even though my completely paid off van would have been used as collateral. We areworking hard to try to get these cards paid off so that in 2 years when I have to start paying my student loans back, I will be able to afford them.

Here are a few pictures from the Wine Family reunion that I hosted back at the end of March!

My dad and our family (a rare moment that we are all together)

The cousins - Robbie, Chris, Earvin, Madison, Randall, James, Becca, and Sarah

The horse that bit me on my finger (that still hurts mind you)

Roller Coaster Ride...

...that's what I feel I am on most of the time. My life seems to have so many ups and downs. I try to believe that the ups are more than the downs, but today I am feeling down. I am 32 and blessed with a good marriage, 3 great kids, and an awesome job, so I should be counting my blessings now, not allowing some little person at a bank make feel infurior. Sure, I haven't always made the best decisions where money comes into play and for sure we are a little over-indulged, but sometimes people make you feel so small. I thought I had a great plan to get us over this little hump that we seem to be stuck on, but I guess the bank had a different plan. I am waiting on the final word, but it doesn't look so good right now. I am going to try to stop thinking about it.

Anyway, another downer or upper I guess, depending on how you look at it, is how old all of my boys are getting. On Monday, I signed Jeremy up for Kindergarten. KINDERGARTEN!!! I can't believe my baby is almost 5 and will be in school next fall. I want to be happy for the freedom to do my work with no interruptions, but my heart hurts for I know all too soon, he won't be a baby anymore. To make matters worse, last night, I went to a 6th grade orientation at the MIDDLE SCHOOL for James and Randall. MIDDLE SCHOOL - it's unbelievable. It seems like just yesterday, JC and I cried as they were leaving for their first day of Kindergarten. Where does the time go? I want to put the brakes on and make them all small again.

Hopefully, my downward spirals will start to head back up. I will blame this on PMS and pray that I can stop thinking about them getting older...I wasn't really thinking about me getting older, but I just realized that I said I was 32....good grief...I haven't even turned 32 yet and I am all ready saying it....before long, I will be 50, 60, 70. I wonder if my parents felt this way when I was getting older....which makes me even more sad, as I wonder if they truly ever cared.

Well enough of these tears. Got to finish my work day and make something good happen today. Life is so good, so beautiful, and so God-made....to feel sad about anything is so unfair to him. So for Jesus, for God....I will smile and thank Him for my many blessings!

Bobbie

Random Thoughts

Jeremy has played two games this week and he seems to like it well enough. The boys attended their first Court of Honor for Boy Scouts and got their very first merit badge for Disability Awareness. They seem very excited and go tomorrow to an Advancement Mania to work on their Tenderfoot Rank. Then next week they will work on a Service Project and the first week of May a trip to Ft. Bragg. On the 17th of May they want to participate in a 10-mile hike. I am so glad they like to get involved in this stuff and I am so proud of all of my boys.

My weight loss isn't going so well. I know I need to stop eating sweets, but I do it anyway. It's my biggest downfall. I wish there was something I could do to tell my brain that I don't need it. It is very frustrating. I need to get healthy. I don't want to be skinny, just healthy!

I thought I had alot of thoughts this morning, but I guess not....lol. I will write more next time!

It's official - my boys are growing up!

I went and picked James and Randall up from Camp Barnhardt this morning. They camped from Friday night until this morning with their Boy Scout troop. I am amazed at how well they did without me. I guess they are growing up, and it is me who is trying to keep them little. I was petrified on Friday night because of the thunder storms and tornado warnings in the area. After a few phone calls, I was reassured that they were being well taken care of. Didn't help me not to worry, but I did feel better and was able to sleep. I know they had have been miserable, it rained all night Friday and all day Saturday, but they came back in pretty good moods and the leaders said they did a great job. I couldn't be more proud of them!

Jeremy's game and Bat-a-Thon got cancelled yesterday because of the rain, but he did have his pictures taken. JC, Jeremy, and I walked around Lowe's Motor Speedway for the Spring Car Show. Are we crazy? I would say YES, since it was pouring, but they had such a great time, so I am glad we went. Jeremy cried harder than I did on Friday night when his 'bro-bros' left on Friday night, so we wanted to do something special with him. His first 3 games have been cancelled. Hopefully they will play on Tuesday.

Update on us

Well, I tend to spend more time updating Myspace as many of my friends are there and it is easy to share pictures with friends. I like to come back here from time to time to revisit where we have been and where we are going. So here I am with another update from Concord, NC!

I still can't believe that we live here. Sometimes it feels as if it is all a dream. I was just telling JC the other day that sometimes I forget I am here and it isn't until I see a NC license plate that I remember that I am on the roads of NC and not VA. I spent 30 years in VA and to be honest, I sometimes feel that I am still there....it's crazy, I know....I love our house. I love going out in the backyard, it is the place I feel most at peace. Sometimes I think it is my own personal peace of Heaven. I am strong enough to admit that without the help of God I wouldn't own this. And who really ever owns their property....I believe that I am just borrowing from God until it's my time to join him in Heaven. Just as I know my kids don't belong to me. They are God's children and He has blessed me with the task of raising them. In the past year or so, I feel that I am failing in my duties. I wanted to move down here to spend more time with them. I thought by working from home, I would have more quality time with them, but it doesn't seem to happen. Don't get me wrong, I am very grateful to have a job with the ability to work from here, but it is very hard to manage a house and a full time job and 3 kids. I have been struggling and didn't know why. I actually thought about getting medicine to control my emotions (and anger), but I believe I have done something better. I have allowed Jesus back into my life. Don't get me wrong, He has always been here...ALWAYS...but He was knocking and I wouldn't let Him in. I don't know where it will lead me, but I do know I am walking there with more peace in my heart then I had a month ago. I hope to join this church that we found and become a part of the congregation in all aspects and not just as a Sunday member! The one suggestion that my doctor gave me was to limit the sports that I allow the boys to join. They have played Basketball and Baseball every year and do Cub Scouts, this year Jeremy starts Baseball, and the boys chose to not play. As sad as I was to hear that, I allowed them to make that choice, so right now it is just Jeremy's teeball and the boys in Boy Scouts...and guess what, I don't feel so stressed!!

I am trying to work hard on me and my family. We are trying to learn more about God's word and have all ready learned so much in these past 3 weeks and we will be baptised (again for me) in the church. This is a big step for me. Not because of being baptised (I was baptised as a baby in the Lutheran Church), but because I have always let my feelings about myself and how I look, I have always chose to ignore a call to the front because I was worried that people would think I was fat. Well guess what, I know I am fat and now that I have been to the front, it doesn't seem to be as big a deal to me. The only person I need to please is Jesus and He loves everybody for their souls and not what they look like. :-) It sure has taken me awhile to get to this point!

OK, so now that I have shared the best news about our new life as children of God, I will recap a little about what else has gone on in our lives. James and Randall just graduated and crossed over from Cub Scouts to Boy Scouts in a great ceremony where they earned their Arrow of Light. This is the highest rank in Cub Scouts and I am very proud of thekir hard work. I am praying that they are up for the challenge of being a Boy Scout and I can't believe next Fall brings the fact that I will have children in MIDDLE SCHOOL. Jeremy will be turning 5 in May and will be going to Chuck E Cheese for his birthday. This is kind of big for him because we have never done a Chuck E Cheese for a party and he is very excited. He has been asking for this party since we went last October (him and I) while JC and the boys attended the Martinsville Race. He is finally old enough to play sports and loves it. He is doing Teeball right now and said he wants to do Soccer in the Fall. The boys want to try Football this year but Jeremy is still too young. He will do Soccer this year and wants to do Football next year.

I have been in the process of planning two Family Reunions. One for my dad's family - The Wines and one for my Mom's family - the Millers. Last weekend was the Wine Family Reunion in VA. We had a pretty good turnout, with about 60-65 people in attendance. This was very good, considering it was only 50 degrees. The weather held out great for us and I was very excited. There was a small irritant that I really took to heart, and it makes me wonder why anybody whoe doesn't want to be part of our family, would come and bring her daughter who feels the same way. Up until two days ago, it was eating me up, I shouldn't have wasted my feelings on it though. I should have just given it up to the Lord and pray that one day she learns that there is more in this life then what she can do to further herself. I am content in my life and I know not everybody is, and I need to give them a break. That will be my prayer for myself today, to not expect perfection from other people. To not let other people bring me down in their pursuit of UN-Happiness.

Well - I need to get to work, so I will cut this off now. I am going to try to use this more. I am attaching a few pictures of the last couple of months. Love to all. Bobbie

"Jeremy,Randall, Robbie, James, Jack, Earvin, and Madison at Christmas time"

"JC, James and Randall at the Arrow of Light Ceremony"

"Jeremy - the first time he wrote his name"

"Hemi and Krissie getting loved by me"

"The new puppy - Blondie"