Facing the Giants

WOW - it has been so long again. I thought I would be better this year at blogging, but I found I am not so good. So much has been on my mind this year, and I am trying to deal with it. We have been super busy and I am only 2 1/2 quarters away from finally getting my degree.

I moved to Facebook from Myspace and I like it a lot better now. I don't share my thoughts/feelings like I would here, but I have reconnected with several old friends and have met many new friends through my wonderful church family. I love them all!

I am, dare I say, OBSESSED with reading Blogs here on Blogger. I follow several families who have gone through adoption and I love seeing the memories they are making for these children. I follow families who have lost their babies, or nearly lost their baby, and I am in awe of a young woman who has moved to another country to care for 13 children....all in the name of God! I don't know how or why I have been led to these posts, but I do know, I can sit here for hours and read and cry for people I only know through the grace of God. I try to break myself of the habit of checking it every day, but each day I find myself back there waiting for an update. Holding my breath waiting to make sure they are okay. I can only believe there is a reason for my manic obsession with following these lives....I think God is preparing me, preparing my heart for change????

JC has been out of work now since May and we have been making it but have wiped out our savings now. Now I feel I have reached panic mode. We have gone to see one of the free government counselors to try to save our home, but I fear it won't work in our favor. We have resigned ourselves that we may lose the house....and I am OKAY with that. We won't take this home with us to Heaven, so in the long scheme of things, it doesn't matter....but my brain doesn't listen to my rationalisations most of the time....and my heart aches to think we will have to leave this house that we have worked so hard to keep...then I think why should we keep fighting?? We are in over our heads....lets get out of it, start fresh...start brand new with just a rent payment. Rent would save us about $1400 a month....and when I see those numbers, I feel a sigh of relief....I have been confused and scared and worried for nothing, because God knows what is going to happen. He knows what will happen and when it will happen. His timing is correct, not mine! I did find it ironic that I opened a magazine tonight to an article about living in a smaller space. YES, we will have to sell/give away alot of our stuff. YES, we will have probably 1/2 the space we have now. YES, we will have to get accustomed to a smaller living space. YES, we can do it! WE WILL BE OKAY!

We watched Facing the Giants tonight and it was JUST what I needed to hear. I am facing the biggest giants I have ever faced right now, but I am going to 'plant the field and get ready for the rain'. I am going to keep working hard and whatever happens, I will know we did it for the glory of God. And if we win and stay here, I will praise Him. And if we lose and have to move, I will praise Him. Either way....it seems like a win/win situation for me!

I've heard this song many times (its from the Casting Crowns), but hearing it after watching Facing the Giants tonight, really made me think about the words in a whole new perspective. Will you take a minute and read them?? If you are having any fears or worries right now, put into God's hands...I want THE KIND OF FAITH IT TAKES TO CLIMB OUT OF MY COMFORT ZONE INTO THE UNKNOWN AND CHOOSE TO LISTEN TO THE VOICE OF TRUTH!

Oh what I would do to have
The kind of faith it takes to climb out of this boat I'm in
On to the crashing waves
To step out of my comfort zone
Into the realm of the unknown where Jesus is
And He's holding out His hand
But the waves are calling out my name and they laugh at me
Reminding me of all the times I've tried before and failed
The waves they keep on telling me Time and time again,
"Boy, You'll never win!" "You'll never win!"
But the Voice of Truth tells me a different story
The Voice of Truth says, "Do not be afraid!"
And the Voice of Truth says, "This is for My glory"
Out of all the voices calling out to me
I will choose to listen and believe The Voice of Truth

Oh what I would do to have
The kind of strength it takes to stand before a giant
With just a sling and a stone
Surrounded by the sound of a thousand warriors
Shaking in their armor
Wishing they'd have had the strength to stand
But the giant's calling out my name and he laughs at me
Reminding me of all the times I've tried before and failed
The giant keeps on telling me Time and time again,
"Boy, You'll never win!" "You'll never win!"
But the Voice of Truth tells me a different story
The Voice of Truth says, "Do not be afraid!"
And the Voice of Truth says, "This is for My glory"
Out of all the voices calling out to me
I will choose to listen and believe
The Voice of Truth But the stone was just the right size
To put the giant on the ground
And the waves they don't seem so high
From on top of them lookin' down
I will soar with the wings of eagles
When I stop and listen to the sound of Jesus
Singing over me
But the Voice of Truth tells me a different story
The Voice of Truth says, "Do not be afraid!"
And the Voice of Truth says, "This is for My glory"
Out of all the voices calling out to me(calling out to me)
I will choose to listen and believe(I will choose to listen and believe)
I will choose to listen and believe The Voice of Truth
I will listen and believe I will listen and believe The Voice of Truth
I will listen and believe Cause Jesus you are the Voice of Truth
And I will listen to you you are