Showing Up

Why is it hard for people to just show up?

I have felt let down on numerous occasions.  It isn't fun.  People who I thought I meant something to, have let me down and it hurts.  I hate the feeling when somebody says they will do something and then they don't.  I have always been big on keeping promises, so sometimes it is hard for me to understand why other people don't feel the same way.

When we were planning our 20 year anniversary/vow renewal, I let some people know at least a year in advance.  Only 2 of those people, showed up, everybody else couldn't come.  My dad didn't come, but unfortunately, that wasn't a surprise to me.  My aunts, my uncles, my cousins, none of them came.  That actually hurt more than I imagined.  We have gone our separate ways, we are living separate lives and it doesn't seem to matter any longer if somebody is celebrating a momentous time in their life.  It seems family only makes an effort to get together at funerals...Why is that? Why wouldn't you want to spend time with your family while there is still breath in their lungs and not to watch them being buried?  I understand there are some circumstances....I know I missed a wedding because of some financial circumstances, but I never promised I would go, I waited until the last minute and then I told them I wouldn't be coming because there was no way I could get off work.  It wasn't intentional, the timing and finances just weren't right at that time.  Some of the excuses I got was laughable.....but you know what...there were people who showed up.  People who came and saw a wonderful 2nd wedding.  People who showed up and loved on us and for that I am grateful.

None of this hurt though compares to the hurt I feel when somebody doesn't "show up" for my kids.  We may not see eye to eye on everything, but my kids and JC mean the world to me.  So I think, even though they say it doesn't matter, it bothers me.  My heart is aching right now. Randall is moving to a new job with a different company, and one of the girls at his work offered to throw him a party at her house since he was leaving.  At least 6 people said they were going to come, and then didn't show up.  It was just Randall, the girl, and her sibling(s) and mom.  It was very nice of her to do that for him....something she didn't have to do, and people just didn't show up.  Randall acts like it doesn't matter, but I know how I feel when it happens to me, so I wonder if he is just compartmentalizing and/or holding it inside.  I just want people to show up.  He is a good kid.  He is hard-working.  He would give the shirt off of his back for anyone of those people who didn't come.  I don't know the girl, but the fact that she offered to throw the party in the first place, shows me she is a caring person.  How heartbreaking to her to open her home and buy food for people who aren't caring enough to even call to give an excuse...instead they just don't show up.

Come on people!  We have to do better than this.  We are only here on this earth for a brief moment out of eternity.  Love the people you are doing life with.  Love them with your whole heart....and for goodness sake - just show up!!!  Please.