One Step Forward and Two Steps Back

I was proud of myself for making it through Tuesday with no tears...then yesterday came and something small and inconsequential happened that made me burst in to tears thinking about Krissie.  I can't even tell you right now what happened...it was that small, but the pain of her not being here hit me hard.  I had a good 5-minute cry and then I had to move on.  Because I work from home, I am pretty much here at the house all of the time.  She was so much a part of my every day for the past 10 years. Every time I look at Hemi, I wonder what he is thinking, why his eyes look so sad, does he blame me because she is gone?  The pain is real, but there are so many other people suffering with far greater losses than me, and I just want to tell myself to put on my big girl pants and get over it.  I am trying.  Each day is getting better.  The hurt isn't quite as severe, the guilt isn't quite as strong, the loneliness of missing her is being helped by Hemi being by my side.  God is good and He is seeing me through this grief and I know I will come out of this a stronger a person.

I woke up this morning and looked for Bible verses about grief and some of these are spot on.

Proverbs 15:13-14 - a glad heart makes a cheerful face, but by sorrow of heart the spirit is crushed.  The heart of him who has understanding seeks knowledge, but the mouths of fools feed on folly.

Isaiah 41:10 - fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

Psalms 119:50 This is my comfort in my affliction, that your promise gives me life.

Romans 8:18 - For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us.

And my favorite one:

Revelation 21:4 - He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away. 

I love that you can find words in His word to help with anything that is happening in our lives.  His Word is truth and I will rest assure that even when my grief is for things of this earth, that He is holding me up and seeing me through, just like He has done for so many years....My Abba...My Father...My Friend.